How to find Meaning out of Pain and Loss

The Pain and Loss we feel in life can be very discouraging, and can lead to feelings of depression, loneliness and anger, which if held onto for too long, can lead to a life that doesn't seem worth living. There is another way, a healthier way to understanding and accepting the things in life and moving on to a far greater joy and peace than before.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• AN open heart and Mind
• a willingness to change
• a willingness to let go

1. EXPERIENCE IT
   One of the first things people tend to do when hurt and pain come there way is to reject it, avoid it, act as if it doesn't matter, etc. The most important thing we can do is accept that this experience is real, is profound and that it matters. Allow the rush of feelings to take you on a journey of discovery, not of pity or guilt, regardless of the circumstances.

2. EVALUATE IT
   As you begin to feel these emotions, evaluate them honestly and openly. Ask yourself questions like; "why is this affecting me so?", "why can't I let go of these feelings?" "Should I be feeling this way?". It's ok to feel hurt, anger and rejection, the key is to evaluate those feelings from the perspective of an upward climb towards revelation and growth.

3. CONFESS IT
   Having someone to turn to that won't judge or condemn you, but openly and honestly be there to comfort and console you is very helpful. Professional help if there is not any one is a likely possibility. Seeking professional help, or help in general is not a sign of weakness, but an indication of intelligence, and a willingness to grow beyond your current emotional state.

4. EXPLORE THE POSSIBILITIES
   Blaming oneself for situations, or others is not the key to finding meaning. Accepting responsibility that everyone plays a part in the lives of others, whether known or unknown is a step in the right direction. Explore the circumstances surrounding the loss, pain, or grief that has occurred. Be willing to take responsibility for the part you have played without blaming yourself for a particular outcome.

5. CHOOSE TO BE FREE
   Understand that we all choose to either stay in state that we find ourselves in or we can choose to work towards finding a way out. Finding a way out means working diligently towards growth, for finding that meaning, and allowing the truth of the purpose you find to flow through your everyday experience.

6. ACCEPTANCE
   Accept the reality that once you begin the journey of revelation and growth, a change has begun, a process towards a better brighter realization of tomorrow is taking place. Having a spiritual foundation is the most important aspect of finding purpose and meaning. Understanding that your grief and pain is not just about you, it is about everyone around you. When you accept that our shared experiences, both good and bad weigh against those of the people around us, the light and depth of our own loss and grief tends to not be as profound and long-lasting as we first thought.

Tips & Warnings

• Finding purpose and meaning out of the pain and loss in life can be a difficult process. The willingness to take that journey is a step in the right direction.
• Results are not typical. Following this How To will not necessarily give you the desired results you need. This article is meant simply as a guide, to help in the process of healing, to provide a little insight, and to start one on a journey of exploration and healing.

[drybacek]

on 11/16/2007 Very comforting! Thanks for the open honesty!