How to improve communication with a child with Aspergers Syndrome or autism

Aspergers Syndrome (AS), an autistic spectrum disorder, is estimated to affect 400,000 families worldwide. AS is characterized by poor social interactions, obsessions, odd speech patterns, and other peculiar mannerisms. Children with AS often have limited facial expressions and struggle with understanding body language. They often have obsessive tendencies and be hypersensitive to stimuli such as bright lights, temperature or sounds. Engaging a child with AS is particularly challenging for these reasons. As the mum to an 8-year-old diagnosed 5 years ago, I can only speak from my personal experience and from what I've read. But like they say, every little helps.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• Patience
• Understanding

1. Before dealing with a child with AS, it's best to speak to the person who knows and understands that child best - his or her parent or main caregiver. They will be able to flag up any potential problems, offer ideas and be able to suggest solutions to problems.
2. While eye contact is often used to improve communication with others, it can actually be physically painful for a child with AS. So bear in mind that they may not be able to look you in the eye while you are talking. I've advised my son to try his best to look at someone's nose or forehead when speaking to them, so they feel they are being spoken to, which really helps. If you want to know that they are really listening and understanding you, ask the child to repeat back, using different words, what you have just said.
3. Children with AS tend to be very literally minded. Jokes that many children will find funny, a child with AS may not 'get'. So choose wisely.
4. Precision is key. When it comes to speech, say exactly what you mean just as a child with AS would. While some view this sort of approach to communication blunt, I see it as total honesty. In my house, time is a real pitfall as I tend to 'guess-timate'. Several times a day, I am asked what time it is. If it's 8:43, I will say 8:45 as I have a tendency to round off numbers. This usually results in a very cross child angry with me for giving inaccurate information.
5. Nicknames can also cause problems with AS children. My son, still struggles with the fact I am both 'Mommy' and 'Karen'. If he's referred to as 'son' or 'honey' in a shop, he feels quite angry as he knows he is not their child or a pot of honey.
6. AS can exhibit itself through a child's obsessions. An AS child can come across as self-centred, however it should be taken into account that for the child, his or her obsessions are their world. Take an interest in their obsession, whether its dinosaurs or Pokemon and you're half-way there. In order to read my son bedtime stories as many parents do, I recall having to rewrite the classics to feature characters from Sonic the Hedgehog...a challenge, but worth it as we both shared the experience.
7. Some children with AS are sensitive to touch and do not like being touched. This is understandable as schools and parents alike hammer this message through to kids from a young age. However, this includes hugs - even with family members. My son was taught to hug at 4 to make people feel better. He's ok now with giving hugs but has angry outbursts if he is touched without his permission, even by family members.
8. Preparation is key for any event which may be out of the ordinary for an AS child. Many children with AS are obsessive about routine. My son will wake up each day at 5:12am and at 7:02am he will get dressed for school. If you have a special day or activity planned, prepare him or her the day before for what lies ahead to minimise the shake up to his or her routine.
9. A child with AS may not be able to show affection easily, but don't let this put you off. It will take time, perserverance and dedication for that child to let you into his or her special world.