Things You'll Need:
- Courage to look deep into your heart
- Understanding of how you developed this behavior
- The desire to overcome
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Step 1
Understand that jealousy is based on a combination of insecurity and egotism. You are reluctant to trust completely, and even what trust you have allowed is, at any given moment, subject to change. In short, you have a higher regard for your suspicions than you do the person you proclaim to love.
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Step 2
Do a thorough evaluation of the character of the person you are jealous of. Consider the history and personal knowledge you have of them. Ask yourself, do they deserve your suspicions? Have they committed acts that truly deserve your lack of trust? Does their character warrant the wrath of your jealousy?
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Step 3
Do a thorough evaluation of your own character. Consider the different moments you have allowed feelings of jealousy to foment. Ask yourself, was your reaction always justified in each instance? Did the one you love truly threaten the trust you share together? Did you react maturely or over-react according to your own insecurity and lack of trust?
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Step 4
After this introspection, if the one you love proves to be guilty and justly accused and convicted, perhaps you should move on to someone upon whom you can truly rely. But if you discover it is you who are jumping the gun a bit and are unfairly accusing, and you realize it is because you have not allowed a deep trust of your loved one to develop because you are egotistically insecure, then it is time to move on from a juvenile emotional status to a mature emotional status.
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Step 5
Realize that anyone who places another human as the one source of their well being and self-worth is acting on a juvenile view of life and sets up a relationship based on worship rather than the equal sharing of human love.
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Step 6
If you have now identified the truth of the situation and find you are at fault, then it is time to adopt a new and mature view of life and to act on it.
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Step 7
Realize that you are in this world as an individual who has a purpose apart from your partner. You must be aware that whether a relationship survives or fails, you alone are responsible for how you respond to life.
Comments
lisaanne36 said
on 9/10/2009 I am a 36 yr old female with a huge jealousy problem.I am attractive and my man says im sexy he loves me etc over n over.I still cry often when i think of him looking at another woman,it doesnt matter if they are pretty or not i am insanely jealous.My stomach grosses me out to the point i will not have sex if i have to be on top..I have a back injury which led to my stomach looking so bad.I have huge issues with my self esteem even though i am complimented constantly.I dont know what to do anymore.I get physically sick to my stomach with worry that he thinks someone is prettier than me.I am at the point that i have nightmares about him being with someone else.sometimes i dont want to wake up anymore.i FEEL SO UGLY.I never was like this with any other man, i dont know how i got to this point.It is out of control and he may leave me someday because this is ridiculous i know but how to...
aldiiina said
on 8/14/2009 I would love to get my hands on the missing steps, I definately needed to read this! Thanks! :)
wgueits said
on 1/30/2009 Love the article Trisha, but how can I get a hold of the missing steps? Would love to read all of it...
trisha22 said
on 4/12/2008 Thanks fave, but you know about 4 or 5 steps were lost on this article that ehow somehow couldn't find. I've been meaning to get back to it to finish it again because that was where much more was there for the how to of it. But thank you for the compliment.
favefive said
on 12/10/2007 Very insightful...great read!