How to Avoid a Relationship Breakdown

It's easier to keep a good relationship going that it is to fix a broken one. Unfortunately, a lot of people spend more energy trying to get into a relationship than to keep a good one going. Relationships aren't equipped with auto-pilot. You need to put some time into keeping your partnership strong to avoid a relationship breakdown.

Add the following five steps to your relationship arsenal and you'll be on your way to keeping your healthy relationship strong.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Let your partner know what they do right to spend less time fighting about what went wrong.
   
   It's much easier to encourage a behavior you like rather than trying to fix a behavior you don't. Do you appreciate that your spouse always gives you a kiss before leaving the house? Let her know! Do you love the fact that your partner gets up with the kids on the weekend so you can sleep in? Let him know! Reinforce the behavior you want to keep, and later on you won't be fighting about why you never get a kiss goodbye anymore.

2. Discuss the mole hills before they become mountains.
   
   It's better to bring up an issue while it's still small and manageable. Just remember, don't attack - be kind and be specific. Don't bring up a laundry list of items that are nagging you; pick one issue and discuss how you feel without accusing your partner of doing wrong.

3. Go to bed angry.
   
   Many couples feel that differences must be resolved before turning in at night - this isn't always wise advice. Disagreements can't always be solved in a tidy time frame, and trying to come to a resolution when you're both tired can backfire. Instead, go to bed, get some rest, and talk about it in the morning when you're both well rested.

4. Schedule a weekly date night.
   
   It's easy to fall into a rut of working and taking care of the home and family, completely forgetting that you were once hot for each other. Planning a night out to focus on being together and enjoying each other's company can keep the spark lit in a relationship.

5. Fight like you want to stay married.
   
   Imagine you're having a disagreement with your best friend. Would you scream at each other, say hurtful words or try to put each other down? Most people wouldn't dream of fighting like that with a friend. Try to be just as respectful in an argument with your partner. Have your disagreement, get it on the table and get it worked out, but remember your objective is to stay married, not to always be right.

Tips & Warnings

• Love is the core of any successful relationship, but communication is the frame that holds it all together. Talk to your partner and let them know how you feel.
• If your relationship has deteriorated to the point where you can no longer open up to each other, seek professional help to get back on track.

[Elitchka]

on 12/10/2007 Thank you for this very good article. Your advices are very reasonable.

[sexymama]

on 11/17/2007 To late for that..when person ignores you how can you talk ..don't forget that part.