How to Deal with Difficult Classmates

We've all been there: you're sitting in class, and everyone is agreeing, working together, and generally in good spirits, and then that one classmate says something seemingly just to throw off the balance or harmony of everyone else in the class. Difficult classmates not only make going to class a chore, but they can make your assignments difficult as well. Students who put a strain on the class will likely take a toll on the instructor, as well, causing him or her to teach below their normal levels of enthusiasm. Deal with that difficult classmate diplomatically to ensure that the money you're spending on tuition is worthwhile.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Remember these four words: defeat them with kindness. As easy as it is to just sit back and complain about your irritating classmate, it's much more effective to go to the root of the problem and try to understand why this person feels that he or she needs to act this way. Remember that he/she is a human, too, and that understanding their behavior may help in breaking down the behavior.
2. Reassure the student and offer help. If the student is slowing down the class because she feels insecure about her contributions, talk to her about her work; if it's good, pay her compliments. However, if the work does indeed need improvements, offer to help her. Defensiveness often breeds bad behavior, but with nothing to be defensive about she may stop being so disruptive.
3. Listen, acknowledge, and explain. If your fellow student is extremely pedantic and argumentative, avoid the impulse to interrupt and argue back. Instead, listen to the argument and during a break in thought acknowledge what has been said and provide the counter point. People who feel ignored often feel the need to go on and on to prove themselves; people who are acknowledged are less likely to feel the need to take center stage.
4. Approach your professor to ask for help. If the classmate seems to be taking over the course, consider approaching the professor to see if action can be taken to control the student. The professor may be able to have a one-on-one discussion with the student in order to limit the bad behavior in the future.

Tips & Warnings

• Act diplomatically! You never know how the connections you create today will effect your future.
• Always put yourself in the other party's shoes.
• Remember that you have the right to learn when you're in class. If this classmate is taking away that right, you must take action to right the situation, even if that means taking matters to the authorities.