How to Deal with Difficult Classmates

Dealing with a bully is a skill that remains useful into adulthood.

Being the victim of bullying or teasing isn't fun for the child being picked on. Being the victim of bullying can leave a child feeling helpless, even alone in the face of ridicule or even abuse at the hands of a peer. No child should be forced to feel dread about going to school. If a child you care about is being bullied, there are steps you can take to make it stop, even before it begins.

Instructions

1. Help the child understand why the bully acts the way he or she does. Bullying is often a symptom of a some problem at home or of low self-esteem. Your child should understand that he isn't being picked on because of something wrong with him, rather, there's something wrong with the bully.

2. Tell the child to be confident and feel good about himself. Bullies mistreat others as a way to make themselves feel important and in control while they secretly feel unimportant and helpless. Even if your child is scared, he should act confident and stand tall. If a kid looks unafraid, the bully is less likely to make him a target.

3. Have your child make friends. Bullies target children they see as "safe" to pick on: the ones that won't fight back or have friends who will stand up for him. If your child sees other classmates being picked on, have them try and make friends with each other. Having friends doesn't just provide safety in numbers, it also helps your child feel more confident about himself knowing that someone likes him for being himself.

4. Tell your child to not put up with bullying in any form, even when it's happening to someone else. It can be easy to turn a blind eye when you see someone else in trouble. Standing up for someone else can help your child feel good about himself and help him make new friends by setting an example. It will tell the bully that no one likes what the bully is doing and no one will stand for it.

5. Let the child know that it's okay to tell an adult. There is nothing wrong with "snitching" as long as it prevents someone from getting hurt. Even if the child is afraid or ashamed to tell a teacher, they should know that it's safe to tell you when they have a bully problem. Bullies can sometimes be victims of some sort of abuse themselves, and use their misbehavior as a way to seek attention. Teachers and counselors are in a position to stop bullying by helping the bully with his problems, stopping the source of the bullying directly.

Tips & Warnings

• Remind your child that violence is not an answer to bullying. The first response to a bully should be to walk or run away and alert an adult. Fighting could result in someone getting seriously injured and both parties getting in trouble.

References

• KidsHealth.org; Dealing With Bullies