How to Toilet Paper Around a House

Toilet papering houses is a popular suburban prank. When done well, it can be an art as well.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Jumbo pack of toilet paper, any brand
• At least two people

1. Approach the target house after the inhabitants are asleep and quietly make a plan of attack with your co-conspirators.
2. Do the tall objects first, such as trees or tall cacti. Position two people, one on either side of the tree. Starting with a full roll, toss the roll over the top of the tree to the other person while holding onto the end of the sheet. Have the other person walk around the tree once and then toss the roll back to you.
3. Repeat step two until there is plenty of toilet paper wrapped around the tree. Walk around the trunk of the tree several times when you are finished, wrapping the paper around the trunk until the roll is empty.
4. For smaller bushes and shrubs, quietly unravel the roll by walking around the bush and putting as much paper through the bush and out the other side as possible.
5. Make a mummy out of the mailbox: wrap the paper around the base and letterbox as many times as possible, putting the remainder of the roll inside the letterbox.
6. Write a message on the driveway or sidewalk using chalk, or spell out a message on the lawn with toilet paper, holding the letters down with rocks.
7. Walk or drive away as quietly as possible.

Tips & Warnings

• Some people spray water bottles on the toilet paper once it has been applied, in order to make it harder to clean up. This is considered more malicious than fun.
• Try to make your plan ahead of time so you do not have to talk or make unnecessary noise while papering.
• Make sure there are no sensor-activated lights in the yard that may alert your target.
• Always be on the lookout for passing cars and try to hide until the cars pass.