How to Stop Dissociation After Childhood Abuse

People who are abused as children learn how to use dissociation to survive. This means that they internally fragment themselves so they can avoid feeling painful emotions. While dissociation is handy in an abusive environment, it is maladaptive as an adult. Part of healing from childhood abuse involves learning how to stay present in your life, and dissociation prevents you from being present. Here is how you can stop using dissociation and become more present in your life.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Strong desire to heal
• Patience
• Courage

1. Recognize how frequently you dissociate. When something in your environment triggers you, you might feel lightheaded or dizzy, or you might have the sensation of leaving your body.
2. Set boundaries in your life. You learned to dissociate because your environment was not safe. Take charge of your life by demanding that other people treat you with respect. Decide how much time and energy you are willing to invest in each relationship, and then say, "No!" when people try to manipulate you into giving more.
3. Ground yourself. When you feel yourself beginning to dissociate, focus on the sensations of your body, such as your breath moving in and out of your lungs. Direct your mental energy toward feeling connected with your body.
4. Slow down your breathing. Breathe in slowly until you fill your lungs. Hold your breath for a few seconds, and then slowly release the breath until you empty your lungs.
5. Tell yourself that you are safe. Repeatedly remind yourself that you are in an adult body and are now safe. You are no longer a helpless child.
6. Process painful emotions as they arise. People dissociate to avoid feeling painful emotions. When you choose to stop dissociating, you will feel those painful emotions and need to deal with them. Until you face your emotions head-on, you will continue to dissociate.

Tips & Warnings

• Practice setting boundaries by saying no. As an adult, you have the power to decide who you want in your life and what investment you want to make in each relationship.
• Holding onto your chair or holding a piece of ice in your hand can help you to ground yourself.
• Finding a qualified therapist with experience in counseling people with your abuse history is an important part of healing from childhood abuse. Your therapist can provide you with more tools to stop dissociation.