How to Deal with a Son's Promiscuous Girlfriend

So, you suspect your son's girlfriend sleeps around, and you're worried about how her choices will affect your son. Assuming he's under-age and still living in your household, there ARE some things you can do. To find out how to approach this problem, read on.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Condoms
• The ability to listen without judging
• Vigilance

1. The first and best thing you can do is to provide condoms. Or, if you're not comfortable with that, make sure your son has access to condoms (from the school nurse or your local birth control clinic) and knows how to use them.
   
   I don't mean to offend, but if you suspect your son's girlfriend is promiscuous (or even if she isn't), condoms are the best way for both of them to reduce the chance of spreading disease. Get some now. Put them in a place where your son will find them (his coat pocket, next to his toothbrush, on his pillow, wherever).

2. Second, question yourself and your sources. Are you sure this girl is promiscuous? And, what difference does that make, anyway? Your main responsibility is to your son, and unless you've seen his girlfriend in multiple compromising situations with your own eyes, I would consider the source of your information. It may be unfair rumor, it may be only partially true, it may be boasting baloney from your son or his friends. In any case, your best defense is making sure your son has condoms, regardless.

3. Next, make sure you have opened up the lines of communication with your son as best as you can. Let him know you are a resource for him, and refrain from judging him or the girl. This is your most important step, and the time you spend now talking with your son about sex will pay itself back tenfold, because he'll trust you more. Choose times to talk when neither of you is distracted -- with the TV off, when you're driving together in the car, at the dinner table. Give him your full attention.

4. Fourth, set limits on the time your son spends with the girl. Make sure their time together is in a public place, or at your home when you are there. When you can't be there, enlist the help of other parents, who may be chaperoning a dance or other school activity. You are in charge of your son -- so assert your authority and set the boundaries.

5. If you're still concerned about the girl's behavior, consider speaking with her school's nurse or counselor. I don't recommend speaking with the girl's parents directly unless you know them very well. Instead, focus on curbing your son's behavior and limit his access to her as much as you can. Also, avoid judging or accusing the girl -- her safety and well-being are at stake, too, and that issue should be your focus. Not tattling.

6. Finally, encourage your son to develop his own interests and passions NOW, whether it's sports, music, film, other friends, school work, skateboarding -- anything. Sex is great, true, but there will be time later for that, when he's better able to cope with the risks. As his parent, you're the person most qualified to steer him away from the dangers of under-age sex. And, you're the best person to help him become the man he was meant to be.

[Elizabethknows]

on 5/15/2008 good article thanks for tips

[Elizabethknows]

on 5/15/2008 good article thanks for tips