Step1
OK.... Let's forget everything we were ever taught about being honest, that will NOT work here ..... remember why you came .... because you are in an impossible position .... this is a War of Witt .... and she who has the best information WINS !
OK....if you are properly pumped and ready to go.....Let's rock !
1)Using Yoga techniques the breathing and relaxation exercises at least (2) times a day .... and on an emergency basis use them as needed, I find if I must use them when out somewhere I duck into the nearest bathroom.
2)Clear your mind of any past drama,disagreements,run-ins or whatever with this woman ..... give her a clean slate in your mind. This clean slate is for you .... not for her.
3)Make a list of what you do not like about her and the things she does that bother you.
4)Read this list over and over and over until you own it !
5)If there is ANYTHING about this woman that makes you happy make a list of those things also, and make a list of things she likes.
6)Read these list over and over and over until you own them !
7)Even if you have always been a talker or whatever ..........S top it for this project ........... Become very quiet, almost shy,interverted,humble etc ..... remember you are an actress and you must make a believer out of her.
Step2
No matter how much this makes you want to hurl ....... You are an actress....do your job.
You must refer to the list(in your head)anytime you are out, and if you see just anything matter how small that you think she might like ..... buy it and put it away at home ... like in a bag, in the closet,
we will call this bag of small inexpensive items "The Magic bag"
I have purchased items for 50 cents or a dollar that did a thousand $ worth of good for my project....as a matter of fact food items freshly fixed work to .....maybe she has some favorites you could make.
Step3
To-Day is the first day of the rest of your life !
With all of your prep work done ........ set a date to start your project.
Just Smile when you see her, say oh I saw this the other day and it made me think of you, or I picked this little thing up because I thought you might like it....remember you are only acting so if she says something mean or hurtful just smile as if she had said she loved it and it's ok.....
I am telling you this plan works. ......I have done it. Good luck
The idea is that up until now personalities have gotten in the way and
she is using that against you....so you took it out of the equasion...giving her NOTHING to work with.
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Comments
fennnyyy said
on 7/16/2008 I agree with CuzImReal...if you want your DIL to act a certain way, you have to show it to her by acting the same way...if youre nice,she'll be nice..be patient, put aside anger and be the bigger person.
betterclass said
on 7/7/2008 Sharon Potter Case - YOU have hit it on the nail, sister.... My soon to be DIL done a 390 turn on all of us about 2-years ago.... We all got along, no worries until - she showed her true colors to everyone. She lies to her family of her whereabouts, about my son coming into town, about her smoking, jokes regarding if she needs more money she will have (him) to out to another job, alienated his friend that he went on hunting trips with (including his wife) - her father even dictated when they should get married for a price ($2,500)she agreed. She was in my house and disrespected me by stating out of the blue - once I get your (mine) respect - I will give you respect back (she was 19 at the time) I angrily looked at her and stated - I am your elder - you do not talk to me like that especially in my house - I asked her to leave - she said NO, unless he does (my son) - he left too.... I am
CuzImReal said
on 1/2/2008 You really think you can control your DIL by giving her dollar store trinkets? First of all, why do you want to control her? Because you're a control freak? Then you need to do something about that because it's not healthy. The only person you should want to control is yourself. Besides, you can only be in control of your DIL if she allows you to, gifts or not. Second of all, what makes you think she wants all of these dust collecting knick knacks? The more you clutter her home with junk, the more annoyed she will be. I bet most of those things are in the trash. Third, what makes you think she can't see thru your phoney acting? If she's all happy, how do you know that she's not being phoney with you right back? Here's some advice - stop buying her cheap crap, stop acting phoney and BE A FRIEND to her. If that doesn't work, stop having a relationship with her is she's that bad
Cherst1031 said
on 11/24/2007 This is actually very good advice! I have a sister in law who is "difficult" and let's face it, in the end, all we really care about is seeing my brother and the kids. If we have to be nice to her (he loves her, after all) then that is a small price to pay. Plus, when you are "nice" it might just rub off on her. Just try not to get emotionally involved with the inlaw, for your own sake. I am printing this for my mother. She is of the same mindset, but might need a reminder. Thanks!