How to Deal with a Crying Baby on an Airplane

Like most single travelers, I cringe ever so slightly when I see a baby board my flight. I cringe even more when the baby is in my row. Here are a few tips to find peace when flying around crying babies, or crazed small children.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• Earplugs
• Tylenol P.M.
• Possibly Alcohol or Sedatives
• Slumber Mask
• Ipod

1. Observe the baby's behavior. When the whimpering begins, know that you have a short window of time before wailing begins. This is when you should either: 1) Order two drinks 2) Take two Tylenol P.M. or 3) Get up to stretch, preferably at the other end of the plane.
2. Equally, if a child begins whining or complaining to his parent, the same window applies. See Step 1 for instructions.
3. Once the alcohol/medication begins to take effect, or you have returned to you seat, immediately plug into your IPOD and listen to soothing music at a moderate volume. This should both calm you down and drown out most noise.
4. Once you get sleepy, put in earplugs and slip on your slumber mask. You will be cocooned in slumber, far away from any external interference.

Tips & Warnings

• If you are traveling economy, always bring a slumber mask and earplugs. Buy several of each and place them in all of your suitcases.
• Make sure you have soothing music on your IPOD. If not, the in-flight entertainment always has a classical station.
• If the screaming is out of control, you can ask to be reseated. It's not always possible, but you can ask!
• Don't yell at the kid or at the parents. Don't make loud, obnoxious comments either---they don't help. The parents know their child is a disturbance.
• Don't over drink or over medicate. Ever. Especially on a plane.