How to Schmooze

Effective schmoozing is both a learned skill and an art. Done well, it will yield benefits in business or your personal life at incredible speed. Here are some pointers:

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Get out of the house. Schmoozing is a contact sport. The best theories in the world are no replacement for actual human contact. Yes, you'll embarrass yourself a few times. Don't sweat it. The more you engage, the easier it gets.
2. Understand your goal. Know going in exactly what you hope to achieve. Is it a promotion at work? A date with a woman you know only casually? Keeping your objective in mind will help target your interactions.
3. Now that you know what you want, ignore it. Find ways to help out the person you're talking to. Develop the ability to not only absorb what the other party is saying, but simultaneously think of ways in which you can help him or her achieve THEIR goals. The more you offer, the better your chances of getting that help returned.
4. Ask questions. The mark of a good schmoozer isn't measured in how much he talks, but in how many questions he asks. Start off with general questions, such as where they're from and what they do. Use their answers to steer the conversation into areas of shared interest.
5. What are your passions? A good schmoozer reveals them once they get to know you. A great one starts off with them. Confidence is key. If you feel like you must rely on softball questions, by all means, do so. But know that nothing is as infectious as a person who can lead off with his unabashed love for hip-hop at a staid office supplies meeting.
6. Read as much as you can. And not just the magazines and books that cater to your interests. Try out that mag on digital photography. Bone up on Japanese animation. The broader your base of knowledge, the easier you can connect with people. Added bonus: it makes you a more interesting person!
7. Follow up. A short e-mail within forty-eight hours of meeting a person will do. Include a detail touched on in the conversation which tells the recipient it isn't a form letter. You'll be amazed at how effective this is.
8. Carry business cards. Fashion it according to your likes: nothing says it has to be boring. Just make sure that it's up to professional standards and has your contact info.
9. Call in favors. This may seem obvious, but most people are happy to do favors without remembering to call them in. Keep a list of recipients handy: when you need something they can provide, contact them.

Tips & Warnings

• Courtesy is essential. Never sacrifice politeness for a hard sell.