How to Create Easy Halloween Costumes That Strike a Pose

The only things left at the Halloween costume store are vampires, pirates and little Katie Couric. You are on your own, but how to make a costume that stands out? Answer: By ticking certain peeople off while getting rave reviews from others.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• White sheet
• Vehicle
• Marker
• Political buttons
• White shirt with collar
• Blue pants
• Homer Simpson mask

1. Costume: The United States Constitution after Pres. Bush got through with it.
   Get that white sheet and the marker. Write the words of the Bill of Rights on the sheet. Next, go outside and carefully place the sheet in your driveway or on the road. Get into your vehicle and drive back and forth over the sheet until you've created dark tread tracks. Next, rip the sheet up pretty good. You might also want to get a red marker and strike through certain amendments that Mr. Bush finds so offensive.
2. Costume: The Democratic Congress.
   Find some buttons that express the desire to hold Pres. Bush accountable for his impeachable offenses. Apply then to your clothing. Cut out the back of your shirt, exposing your skin. Then go around the party or neighborhood, turn around and show the back of your costume and inquire: "Have you seen my spine? I seem to have lost mine."
3. Costume: Family Guy.
   Dress up in your white collared shirt and blue pants. Pull the Homer Simpson mask over your head. Of course, most people will assume you are coming as Homer, but you correct them by informing that you are a completely other and totally original character, the Family Guy. To which you will reply, "No, I'm nothing like Homer Simpson. I'm Peter from Family Guy. He is completely original and not anything like Homer. you are mistaken." This is a great costume for those who aren't comfortable at parties because it will only take a few minutes for everyone else to assume that you are deranged if you think Family Guy isn't a ripoff of Homer Simpson.

Tips & Warnings

• You might to have a partner dressed in a Bush mask sneak around showing friends a little plastic backbone and telling everyone he's the one who stole it if you decide to go go as the Democratic Congress.
• Avoid wearing the Bush Constitution costume anywhere where there are conservatives with guns. (Wear in Texas at your own risk.)
• Avoid wearing the Democratic Congress costume anywhere where are liberals with spines. (This would be pretty much anywhere EXCEPT the halls of Congress.