How to Manage Your Expectations of other People

What you expect of people can sometimes be way off base. How do you reconcile it? What happens to make it that way? What can you do to prevent it from happening again?

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Have you ever encountered someone who you really admired, thought would be cool to hang around,or want to meet based on your friend's description, only to discover that he or she was not what you expected? They were sub par, a jerk? Believe it or not, that's common. What went wrong? It's simple. Your expectation of the person was set too high. Whether it was someone famous or unknown, the build up of someone else's words can have an impact on your perception of that person. Perception makes up one's own reality.
2. If someone tells you what a great person his friend is and how much they think you would get along with them, it builds a picture of the person in question. The visual could get so detailed you could put a face to the information that had been provided.
   The trouble begins when your expectation is not matched by the meeting of the person. What to do? The problem does not lie with the person you had just met. It is your problem because you built an unrealistic version of that person. It is you who should change your perception, and thus the expectation. The other person that you had met probably had his or her own expectation of you. He or she may be disappointed or pleased. Again, it would be his or her problem if they were off base in their assessment, not yours.
3. The key lies in the ability to have realistic guidelines. Don't pretend to have a concept of a person, and feel smitten when you know in all likelhood it won't turn out that way.
   Your friend's perception, and thus judgement, may have different variables. Be certain that you two are in accord. Even that may prove futile because people are so different.
4. It's akin to having two best friends that love to hang out with you but can't stand the other. You probably introduced them thinking they would get along great because you get along with the both of them. They had a mental picture you created for them.
   The best thing to do is go without any prospects or anticipation. That is the best way to be non judemental. If you meet someone without any preconceived notions, the chances are you will get to know the person without any tainted or unrealistic views.
   If you built up a sceneario of a person, keep it low and keep it in check. That way you won't be disappointed. If all this sounds like common sense, remember this: Common sense is not so common.