How to Get Rid of Resentments

It’s easy to have resentments. Getting rid of them is a little trickier. Sometimes they’re against people we don’t even know, like the dude who cut you off in the left turn lane or the cashier who ignored you. Others, like those against an aunt who gifted you an ugly sweater one Christmas while she gave your brother a TV, are intimate and have lingered for ages. None of them are healthy.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Paper and pen
• Jar, box or small bag
• Willingness to let go

1. Write down your resentments. Either make a list or write each one on its own small scrap of paper. They can be as simple or detailed as you wish, such as “ugly sweater” or “man in blue sedan with license plate ABC123 traveling westbound on Broadway.”
2. Study these resentments. Although you probably have them horribly memorized, look them over one last time as you are about to let them go. Note how useless they are.
3. Fold each piece of paper into a small clump. Cup it in your fist and ask God, the Creator or whatever higher source you acknowledge to take this stupid resentment from you.
4. Ask God to bless the source of the resentment, such as the man in the blue sedan, so you no longer have to fret about it. You don't have to feel the source deserves a blessing, it's just a step that works. Repeat as necessary.
5. Stuff the folded-up paper into the jar, box or small bag. Add more resentments as they arise. When full, burn the contents in a park somewhere and watch the ashes fly off into nothingness.

Tips & Warnings

• The jar, box or small bag has been used for ages and is also known as a “God jar,” box or bag. Call it what you wish, just don’t forget to use it.
• God jars have been as elaborate as painted decanters with fancy stoppers to old peanut butter jars. They work best when they have lids.
• Some resentments may require more than one sitting. For something deep and ongoing, put it in the jar every day for a week, a month or however long it takes.
• Feel free to make several God jars for places you need them most: one for home, one for your car, one on your desk at work.
• Take your time. Part of why this works is the ritualistic process. Don’t hurry it.
• A wise old man once likened resentments to peeing in your pants: you’re the only one who knows it’s there and you are intolerably uncomfortable.
• Don’t hang on to the resentment papers! A friend of mine would cart boxes of folded-up pieces of resentments around with her when she moved. The point is to let go.
• Don’t burn the contents in a place that is either illegal or could start a massive wildfire. Going to jail for arson will just add to your resentments.