How to Make Stepchildren Feel Welcome

You married someone who has children from a previous marriage and you want them to feel secure and welcome in your new household. Here are some tips for welcoming the children you may only see on weekends and holidays into the family.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Children, like the rest of us, aren't crazy for changes. Especially when their family is now split into two households. When you get your stepchildren on the weekends, it's important to give them as equal a share of your time as the children that live at your house full-time.

2. Make sure the stepchildren have their own room, decorated the way they want. You can make it a project, to paint the room together, arrange the furniture the way they'd like, buy a bedspread in a style that makes them feel happy and comforted. If they have to share a room, just make sure their side of the room gets to be decorated using their imagination. This is a good way to spend time and get to know your stepchildren in a non-threatening way, focused on brightening their lives.

3. Find an activity they like to do and spend time doing it together as a family. Can be something as simple as breaking out the paints and painting on butcher paper, or taking a walk or going to the park.

4. Let them choose one of the meals. Either going out to eat, or helping to prepare it together.

5. At night, start a new tradition as your new family. Make up a bedtime game or routine, sing songs or roast marshmallows, have a picnic in the new bedroom, lay on the grass outside and look at stars. Something that makes your new children feel special. Each weekend, the kids could come up with something new and unique to try.

Tips & Warnings

• Give kids a chance to warm up to the new idea of two households. With patience and a giving heart, your stepkids will warm up to you.
• With older children, allow the kids their space and leave open opportunities for them to come to you when they're ready.

[majesticchild]

on 1/10/2009 All awesome ideas here. Try not to be too lenient with the kids though or they will try to walk all over you. Just try to be thoughttful of how they're feeling. Alienated. Confused. Maybe even a bit bashful. Keep doing little things to make them feel special and they'll open up.

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