How to use magic to deal with a difficult roommate

We've all been there. You have that roommate who know matter what you do, they are getting in your way and giving you grief. I once shared a house near a consulting gig I was on with a woman and one guy. The Princeton guy was very cool, but the woman used to get wildly drunk and sometimes chase me around the kitchen trying to kiss me, or she'd play music at odd hours of the day and night, or she'd bring random "lovers" home from the bar who'd raid the fridge at all hours of the day and night. Finally I drove over the bridge to New Hope, Pennsylvania and shared my troubles with two witches at a magic shop there. They gave me some fairly easy magic to use which worked for a time. So I thought, my dear friends, that I'd share it all with you.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• a small snapshot/photo of the roommate/or their name written on a piece of paper (photo is better)
• two small mirrors
• a rubber band
• a resealable plastic sandwich bag
• a refrigerator/ice box

1. First, after you have exhausted all efforts to fix the situation, or if, like my case it was just unfixable, obtain a photo of the roommate in question. If you can't do this (by rifling through their room, or snapping one yourself) you can write their name down on a piece of paper.
2. Second, place the photo between the two mirrors (if you don't have a photo write their full name on a fortune cookie fortune sized piece of paper and put that between the two mirrors). Make certain that the mirrors are facing one another with the shiny side in and the dull side out. They should reflect into one another.
3. Third, place a rubber band around the two mirrors so that it holds the photo between the two mirrors.
4. Fourth, place the rubberbanded mirrors with photo (or slip of paper) sandwiched between them into a plastic baggie.
5. Fifth, place the sealed baggie into the freezer under some frozen vegetables. Be careful to hide it in there.
6. Complete! What this effectively does, is keep your roommate from harming her/his self or others. It binds them up magically. When you want to end this spell, simply remove the baggie and the mirrors, etcetera from the refrigerator and dismantle them.

Tips & Warnings

• This can easily solve any housing situations. One witch said, "Do you have any idea how many baggies I have in my icebox?" He used this with bosses, and just anyone in his life that was giving him trouble and swore by this process.
• Beware. My housemate found the item in the freezer and said, "Just what the H$#@ is this! Sure it's funny now, but it wasn't so funny at the time.