How to Relax Before Doing Stand-up Comedy

There's nothing funny about bombing on stage during a stand-up comedy routine. Here's how to settle the nerves before taking the stage.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• A venue for live comedy
• A stand-up comedy routine
• A whole lotta nerve

1. Stand-up comedy takes preparation and partial talent to make complete strangers laugh. The jitters can be epic before a comedian steps into the spotlight. To relax backstage, start by taking deep breaths.
2. The feeling of nausea may ensue. That's natural.
3. Before the show, invite friends and family who will actually laugh at the jokes to seat themselves as close to the front of the stage as possible. These familiar faces, and easy targets, provide comfort in a time of intense fear and fodder for spontaneous joke/story telling.
4. Backstage, more deep breaths and reviewing of scribbled-down or typed-up notes to calm the nerves. A drink of water, wine, beer or moonshine works, too.
5. Pacing. Plenty of pacing.
6. Try a big stretch, bending at the waist, hanging arms and head toward the ground and thinking about how much fun it is to play skeeball.
7. More pacing, talking to oneself and breathing deeply. Like childbirth, without the miracle of life.
8. One last check of the notes. And more water, wine, beer or moonshine.
9. Then, the prompt.
10. Break a leg.

Tips & Warnings

• Imagine the crowd naked or maybe yourself naked. Whatever best calms the nerves.
• Take it easy on the drugs and booze. Slurred comedy routines are only funny during celebrity roasts and at Christmas and Thanksgiving.
• Heed the words of Gavin Rossdale, lead singer of Bush, who once sang, "Breathe in, breathe out."
• Never go on stage naked, unless you're playing a nudist colony. Or the Playboy Mansion.