Step1
Keep your opinions to yourself.
It may be hard to do this depending on your personality but its very important that you do it. If you don't agree with them or their lifestyle, just say absolutely nothing. The important thing is to be polite.
Step2
Listen - Don't talk too much!
The more you say, the more likely it is that you will put your foot in your mouth so I strongly suggest not to say too much about anything, even when asked.
Step3
Be polite.
Remember words like please and thank you. These few words wont get you on the subway but they will turn your in-laws against you if you forget to use them.
Step4
Keep visits short and sweet.
The longer you are there, the more likely something is to happen.
If you start to feel tension when visiting, trips to the bathroom may be a lifesaver. I also suggest spending time setting the table, clearing the table and "forgetting" something in the car.
Step5
Send note cards.
Remember to send cards for holidays and special occasions.
That's part of being the thoughtful in-law.
If you have children, sending pictures every other month is especially appreciated.
Step6
Make it a point to share some of the holidays with them.
They will hate you if you steal their son, daughter, brother or sister away from them for all the holidays. Put your feelings aside and do it for your spouse.
Step7
Accept advice.
When advice is given, just say thank you or smile. Playing dumb can be a marvelous tool when it comes to unwanted advice. So your mother-in-law thinks babies should sleep on their tummy...so what, just smile and say, "oh really?", and don't forget that pearly white smile and change the subject if possible.
Step8
Always send a thank you card for gifts.
Never forget to officially thank the giver. Many people think that sending note cards to family is not necessary but it is. Even if your in-laws insist it is not necessary, always do it. You want to make sure they know their gift is appreciated.
Step9
Dress nicely.
Go with tailored looks so that you will never be accused of being a slob, too skinny or too fat. Tailored looks make positive impressions.
Step10
Clean your house.
Even if you never keep a clean home. Be sure to clean it before they come over. This means the ENTIRE home. You never know where they may end up and they should always see you and your home at your BEST.
Authority 
Comments
LuLu12 said
on 3/4/2008 This is really excellent advice. Here's the deal, though. Nothing HIS parents do or say can keep the DIL from assuming they are trying to keep her husband from her. Remember, this young woman can blow up at a moments notice. This is what she will say: "I choose NOT to attend YOUR get together with your faaaaaaaaaaamily. You are not my faaaaaaaaaamily".
Comments like these are terribly hard to take for a generation taught to be nice~! Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuse us~!
I will guarantee this kind of talk would not be tolerated if said by her husband to her parents. No way. It is only reserved for HIS parents. We're toxic, you know. Also, a cut-off can be called for at a moment's notice. She runs the show and if she says, "I can't deal with your parents", then the husband no longer sees his parents. End of story.
Could someone teach the women of today some manners? A way to s
CCrock said
on 12/11/2007 Great article. I was chuckling to myself as I read it. Why are inlaw relationships always so awkward, ewven if you have a good relationship with your inlaws, there's still all the typical issues that everyone has.lol.
GreenMomma said
on 11/8/2007 Barry you are absolutely right about the generational issues. That's something I should have mentioned in the article.
BarryWaite said
on 11/7/2007 Great job! To take this even deeper, there are generational issues and personality issues. I saw in your article how different personalities play a role in how you deal with your in-laws. Also, generational differences really do come to play and if we all just started to accept others, especially in laws, then there would be less friction.
JesaLynn said
on 11/3/2007 These are great tips for getting along, even when you feel uncomfortable.