Things You'll Need:
- Purple paint
- Colorado Rockies hat
- Colorado Rockies jersey
-
Step 1
Familiarize yourself with your new favorite team, the Colorado Rockies. Matt Holliday is their star. He’s a good player to know. Todd Helton plays first base and is a local hero because he’s been on the team the longest. Clint Hurdle is their manager.
-
Step 2
Put on a Colorado Rockies hat and jersey.
-
Step 3
Paint your face purple and go to the most popular bar in your town. Unless the most popular bar in town happens to also be a Red Sox-themed bar, then proceed with caution.
-
Step 4
Scream at the top of your lungs every time someone on your Rockies team makes a good play, scores a run or gets cheated out of a hit.
-
Step 5
Taunt fans of the other team. Unless, of course, you’re outnumbered by more than five to one, then again caution should be exercised. Possible taunts include, “Now batting, the man the Red Sox gave a guaranteed sixty million dollars to, J.D. Drew!” “Julio Lugo is the best ninth place hitter, if they playing in an NL park.” “Four words: David Ortiz playing 1st.”
-
Step 6
Take umbrage that no matter what happens at least you weren’t rooting for the Red Sox.
