How to Deal With HPV (Gay Men)

The human papillomavirus (HPV) is a well-known cause of cervical cancer in women. It is now posing a threat to the gay male community that, if not treated properly, can result in anal cancer. Men become infected with anal HPV through receptive anal intercourse. One study estimates that approximately 95 percent of gay men with HIV and 65 percent of gay men without HIV have HPV in their anal canals or the surrounding skin.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. If you have anal warts, they may be caused by low-risk strains of HPV that do not lead to cancer. Treatment usually consists of freezing them with liquid nitrogen, cauterizing them, or surgically removing them.
2. If you don't have outward symptoms, the physician will lube you up, feel your prostate, and use a scope to take computer snapshots of the hidden, infected areas.
3. Whether or not he sees anything, you'll probably need a pap smear. A spiky cotton swab (like a Q-Tip from hell) scrapes out tissue samples from the anal canal. It can be uncomfortable, but it's generally not painful unless something more serious is going on down there. If your test results come back negative, then you're good to go.
4. A biopsy is needed if your results are positive. Once again, you'll be greased up and some vinegar is squirted into the canal to disinfect the area. Then small portions of the infected tissue are snipped off. You may bleed a bit from the procedure, so a small cotton swab inserted at the anal opening helps staunch the blood flow. This can usually be removed after an hour.
5. If the biopsy results come back low-grade, your physician may opt to wait on further surgical procedures. If they are high grade, then the infected areas need to be removed, as these run the highest risk of turning into cancer.
6. Once again you'll be lubed up for the scope and disinfected with vinegar. This time, however, an industrial-strength needle will shoot novacaine directly into the anal canal to anesthetize the area. This can be painful, but once the medicine kicks in, you won't feel a thing as the laser cuts off the offending tissue. This time the cotton swab will definitely come in handy.

Tips & Warnings

• These procedures are performed on an outpatient basis.
• Unless your doctor is gay, these issues may be difficult to discuss.
• Don't freak out if the physician asks for the smoke machine during the laser portion. It might be embarrassing if your ass is smoking, but kind of funny too if you think about it.
• You may need to go back for follow up visits every 3-6 months, depending on the seriousness of your infection.