How to have a great family, blended or not!

This article is for parents who are looking for ways to make your family the best it can be! Whether you are a blended family, like ours, or not.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Children, no matter what their age, need to know what is expected of them. They need to know what the consequences are for behaviors and that they will be praised for good behaviors. Rules have to be defined!! In a blended family this is challenging. You may have, as we do, children who are split between 2 households. The rules are not always going to be the same at both homes. We sat down with all of our children and made a chart. One side has the rules, one has the consequences. Each child understands the rules and knows exactly what is expected of them.
2. Each child needs to know their role in their family. Everyone wants to have a place. Each of our children are different, and they each have a different role. For our older children, they are our helpers. They know that they are old enough to do some things on their own. They can pack their lunch, make their beds, help with the younger children. It is very important that they feel a sense of accomplishment and that they are rewarded! Either with allowance or lots of praise. We have one daughter who would rather be praised as to have money for those things. The other daughter is here all the time and receives lots of praise, so she would rather have money! Each child has to know that they are special and they have a place in your family.
3. Take the time to have one on one time with each child. This may be something as simple as going to the library together. We had heard this so many times, and always said, we don't have time, we have too many kids to that, or we were just too tired. When we really made an effort to do it, our kids really were amazing! We decided to do one on one time twice a month. My husband and I picked two days that worked each month and then let the kids draw names to see whose turn it would be. The child got to pick which parent they wanted to go with and what they wanted to do (within a reasonable budget). It turned out that the kids who didn't get to go had a great time with the parent that didn't go!!