How to stop the Gentleman Rapist

In order to defend yourself from date/acquaintance rape, you need to take into consideration your own personality and your circumstances. Make sure your response to the assault is practical and definitive. Rapists, in general, fall into four personality types. In this How to, I’ll discuss the Gentleman or Power Reassurance Rapist, since he is the most common and accounts for 70% of all rapists. The Power Reassurance Rapist is less violent and less sure of himself. He seeks power and gets it through the act of rape. He is called the Gentleman Rapist, because he often acts like a gentleman after the rape, by escorting his victim home and then asking her out for another “date” the next day. He rarely uses a weapon and uses coercion to get you to cooperate. He doesn’t consider what he is doing as rape. He lives in a fantasy world and is shocked when he discovers that he’s been accused of rape, since to him, he was just having a wonderful time sexually.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. In order to stop him, you must break through his fantasy. Get him to see that what is happening is not sex or love, but rape.

2. Get his attention by shouting, screaming or other aggressive behavior. Tell him he is a rapist and that this is not love or sex.

3. If you physically resist him or fight back, be conscious of his behavior. He may become more violent and start abusing you.

4. Remember that in order to communicate, you’ve got to be very clear and unambiguous in your words and behavior. Only 7% of your communication comes from your words. 38% comes from your tone of voice and 55% comes from your body language. So if your words are telling him to stop, but your tone of voice and body language are not reinforcing your demands, then you may not be getting your message across.

5. Here are some things you might say: I know what you’re trying to do and it’s rape! I want you to know that if you continue, I will report you to the police! Are you prepared for the consequences of your actions? Are you prepared to be branded as a rapist? Do you know what will happen to you if you continue this assault? You will lose your standing at the University. You will be known as a rapist. You will not be able to get a decent job, and you will go to jail. Are you prepared for that? If so, then I will tell you that I will fight you with all my strength. I will prosecute you. I will pursue you and tell everyone that you are a rapist. I can assure you that I will ruin you! Ten years from now, when you think this is all over, I will appear on your doorstep and tell your wife and children that you are a rapist!

6. You can also try to break through his fantasy by acting crazy, vomiting or telling him you have aids.

Tips & Warnings

• Whatever you do physically to him, you must remember that you task is not to hurt him, but to incapacitate him for at least 20 minutes so you can escape.
• Hurting him only makes him hurt you.
• Once you’ve escaped, preserve the evidence, call the police and rape crisis center and report the rape.
• Make sure you have a trusted friend to help you go through this process.
• Whatever you do, don’t let anyone tell you that the rape is your fault.
• In every word you say and physical maneuver you attempt, you must be acutely aware of how your attacker is responding.
• If what you’re doing is making him more violent, then stop and try something else that will reduce the violence.

[LawnRockFacet]

on 10/14/2008 And -- develop, develop, develop your awareness and intuition about people! The more you learn to read other people in any way, the more you develop your intuition and learn to avoid getting into compromising situations like this.

Self-awareness and finding a safe way to get in touch with your feelings and develop trust with other people, for both people, developed outside of the sexual arena as an individual, is essential to avoid this situation. There is no shame in steering clear of sex until you can feel comfortable as a person.