How to be an East Village Hipster

Be an East Village Hipster without sticking out like a tourist, or annoying the real hipsters.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• hipster clothes (see the article)
• a lack of fear to cross east of First Avenue
• a sense of direction (or a map)
• a sense of self

1. Lose the Fear. The East Village is not just St. Marks Place. It really begins east of First Avenue. The sunglass shacks and bodegas are really just for the touristas. Drop the latte and head east, young man!

2. Don the garb. The hipster is defined by his or her wardrobe statement: ironic, nostalgic, sporty, or somnambulate. With the gentrification of the EV - many higher end clothes have found their way onto the street. This does not a hipster make. Find that killer second hand shop (such as the stretch of shops on Avenue A between ninth and eleventh streets) and find what clothes fit your inner hipster. Those 60's style sneakers that come in all colors now (you know the ones) are on the verge on being passe. Wear with caution. If you weren't alive when the band that is on your re-printed mega-store t-shirt was actually touring, it's not nostalgic, it means you're a temporal wannabe as well as not a hipster. Black tight jeans, boots or sneakers, and bed-head is the blue blazer look of the real hipster. Men be not afraid to wear a funky hat (team hats don't qualify unless they're ironic). Tattoos are always appreciated - save the faux "tribal" ones that adorn too many boys' biceps or girls' lower backs. The only tribe that these signify membership to is the tourist tribe.

3. Avoid eye contact. EV Hipsters usually look down when they walk, or are too busy in their own heads (or strung out) to notice outsiders. A simple nod or chin chuck when you see someone you know suffices for most sidewalk encounters. Loud noises spook most hipsters in the daily hours, so practice caution and kindness with daylight verbal encounters.

4. Get the do. As mentioned, the bedhead look is an accepted do. A good guide is to follow the same categories as the garb rules: Ironic, nostalgic, etc. Be sure it fits your modus operandi - i.e. don't don a sporty do if bedhead is more your vibe. Honesty and sincerity with your appearance is the hallmark of the true hipster.

5. Find alternate means of transport. The skateboard is definitely back in these days. Bicycling is good, but may require too much taxi-dodging. The gas powered cart while fun, screams tourist. Vespas are tricky: good mark for the euro-hipster, could be pretentious if you're not from a Mediterranean country. The Harley, while impressive, is probably too loud and environmentally unfriendly for most EV hipsters. Again, sincerity counts for your mode of transport as well.

6. Find your watering hole. Java by day, Adult Liquification by night. The important thing is to find your local, and make good by it. Besides the overwhelming variety of spots to choose from, there is the community aspect involved: your "local" many times chooses you. With the deluge of tourists and non-locals on the weekends - many hipsters avoid this crush of amateur imbibers altogether. A personal recommendation is this: The bars are less crowded mid-block and on side streets. There are great bars far over on Avenue C (such as Zum Schneider, Banjo Jims and C note) that are a good place to start. I'm not sharing my real favorites - those are for the truly adventurous hipsters to seek out and claim.

7. Do something good. Hipsters generally are good people. From the eco-minded, to the community minded, to the politically minded, there are a myriad of options in the EV for good doers. More than just chucking your change at Burned Out Santa Claus or Screaming Lucy in the Park, check out some local organizations and give some time. There are a number of homeless outreach groups that offer free meals in Thompkins Square, and a number of Animal Shelters (such as Animal Haven in nearby Soho) that are always in need of volunteers. And if you really have it in you, be a mentor at the Boys and Girls Club on 9th and Avenue A. Spend some time with the next generation of EV hipsters.

Tips & Warnings

• Warning: Void in most red states. All suggestions in this article are at the potential hipster's own risk. Do not attempt hipsterization without one or more of the following: understanding the term "CBGB OMFUG", attending a reading at NuYorican, owning at least one Clash or Pogues album, performing at Sidewalk cafe's open mic, or renting any of the Toxic Avenger movies from Two Boots Pizza and Video.

[arwen1964]

on 2/12/2008 These tips work for the Highlands in Louisville, KY as well.