Step1
He is charming and the perfect gentlemen. He pays a lot of attention to you and is extremely engaging. He goes out of his way to fawn over you and impress you. Remember that if he’s too charming, then it may be an act. He may have an agenda that could be very dangerous. Stay alert. Ask yourself: Why is he trying to “charm me?”
Step2
Once he feels like he’s charmed you, his real personality may become visible. He may make some insensitive remarks about women and how they “tease” men with what they wear or how they act. He may even say that women who wear this or that kind of outfit are “asking for it”. A red flag should be going up for you here. This kind of remark indicates that he thinks men are justified in raping if the woman turns them on.
Step3
Now he starts to control you by making decisions for you. Ordering your food, drinks, and telling you what you want. He will be more forceful now and tell you that you don’t know your own mind and that he is, in essence, superior to you. He may even tell you how to eat your food. Don’t be flattered with his manipulations. He is testing the waters to see how you will respond. He wants to know if you’ll just take it, or stand up for yourself.
Step4
He plies you with alcohol. Now the physical assault has really begun. He may keep ordering drinks for you and telling you to have just one more drink. He knows that if he can get you drunk enough, you won’t be able to think clearly and unable to resist his assault. Remember that because of the fact that women generally have more body fat, they become intoxicated much faster then men.
Step5
He now tries to get you into an isolated spot. He may have told you that there was a party and that you just had to go with him. You may give in to be nice, only to find out that there is no party and you are trapped. Remember isolation is always necessary in criminal assaults. He wants no witnesses and no interruptions.
Step6
Confusion leads to denial, which leads to rape. At this point the actual assault begins. Your first response may be confusion, that’s the alcohol clouding your brain. Next the denial sets in. You can’t believe what’s happening to you. Both of these responses are human, but also deadly, because they disable you from acting to save yourself. You’re so busy trying to figure out what’s happening to you that you can’t escape. It’s not until he physically strikes you that you realize the seriousness of the situation. You are going to be raped.
Step7
At this point, you may try to plead with him or fight back or physically try to escape. This nice guy who you thought was a gentleman has now turned into an animal, bent on getting one thing. Sex? No He wants power and control over you. In many cases, it’s the thrill of the conquest that turns him on. Most rapists don’t complete the assault, as they are impotent during the actual crime. He now may verbally threaten to kill you if you don’t cooperate. Even if he doesn’t say it, you’ll probably believe that your life is on the line.
Step8
After the rape, he may minimize the assault, saying that he had a good time, and may even want to escort you home so that nothing bad happens to you. He may be in a total state of denial that he has committed rape, or may be surprised at your reaction to what he thinks of as “consensual sex”. As for you, your whole like has changed. You trusted him and he violated you, but there is hope and healing.
Is my date a date rapist?
Authority 
