How to write a dating profile that get responses!

MY PERSONAL DATING PROFILE: I love black olives, American Idol and cute shoes, all in that order. I hate guys who abuse women, beets and Omarosa, not necessarily in that order. I am a freelance writer currently getting paid to write about things that suck but a girl has to do what she's gotta do to put over-priced food on the table. My dream is to be a successful comedy writer. Someday I hope to see milk coming out of people's noses and mouths due to laughing hysterically from reading my writing. Because of having an extremely abusive assholic father, I am very independent and have alot of trust issues when it comes to men. I am looking for a man around my age who can dispel the myth that I carry around in my head that all men are not like my father.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Pen & paper, computer, erasers

1. MAKE IT SHORT!
   Try to keep your dating profile to a maximum of four paragraphs because most people tend to have a short attention span or get bored easily on dating websites and simply want to scan the profiles quickly for potential matches. So keep it brief!
2. KEEP IT REAL!
   Avoid telling lies in your dating profile because they usually come back later to bite you in the ass! Always remember, if your dating profile is successful, at some point in time you are going to have to meet the individual who responded to it face to face.
3. INCLUDE YOUR LIKES AND DISLIKES!
   If you truly love something like football, knitting or shopping be sure to list them in your dating profile as well as the things that you dislike or hate.
4. SHARE BACKGROUND INFO!
   It always helps to include a little about your upbringing, family, schooling, etc. Who knows an individual may respond to your dating profile that went to the same high school as you!
5. BE A DREAMWEAVER!
   Share your goals, dreams and fantasies in your dating profile so that you can attract likeminded individuals.
6. ATTENTION GRABBING HEADLINE!
   If the dating profile asks for a headline, try to come up with something short, catchy and sexy.
7. FUN SCREEN NAME!
   Try to come up with a fun user id or screen name that embodies your spirit.
8. BE SPECIFIC!
   If you don't want to go out with a smoker, say it! If you don't want children, say it! If there is something that you feel really strongly about, put it in your profile!
9. SHOW YOUR CREATIVITY!
   If you can write poems, music or comedy be sure to put some of your work in your profile to really make your dating profile standout!
10. STENCIL!
    If you can, use colored lettering or different font styles and sizes to truly make your dating profile unique and differienciate it from the pack!
11. ADD PHOTOS AND DRAWINGS!
    Adding pictures and images to your dating profile dramatically increases your chances of receiving responses.
12. BEWARE OF THE WORD.........!
    Be careful when using the word, "marriage" because it can scare a lot of guys away!

Tips & Warnings

• If at first you don't succeed, try try again! Meaning if the first dating profile that you write doesn't get any responses try re-writing it over again. Keep re-writing it until you get a decent response! Don't give up!