How to Deal With a Friend Who Criticizes Everything You Do

Sometimes friends mean well, but everything out of their mouth is irritating. What happened to this friendship and why has it become so unhappy? It could be your friend who is insecure, or it could be how you're taking everything she says. Here are some tips to help understand and manage a rocky relationship.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. First decide how important the friendship is. If this is a new friend criticizing everything you do, then perhaps the friendship isn't worth the trouble.
2. If this is a long-term friendship, step back and ask yourself some questions. Has the person always been this way? Did some past event trigger anger or jealousy, or feelings of inadequacy in this person? Criticism comes from a fearful and insecure place- if the person was feeling secure and valued by you, they wouldn't feel the need to criticize you.
3. Find a time to talk to your friend. The next time she criticizes you, tell her how much her opinion matters to you and how painful it is each time she disapproves of something you're doing. Maybe she doesn't realize how often she's doing it, or that it's bothering you.
4. Ask your friend if she could try an experiment. Ask her to try for one whole day to pay careful attention to the things she says to you. She will begin to hear herself. Ask her to try and replace the negative thoughts with something productive or encouraging. Let her know that the things she says have value and meaning to you.
5. We're only most annoyed by the people closest and most dear to us. Remind your friend how important she is to you and how you want to spend time to improve the relationship. Opening up communication in a deeper way might curb her need to tear at the fabric of your connection.

Tips & Warnings

• Not all people are willing to change. You may be stuck with a closed-minded friend. In that case, re-evaluating the friendship or pulling away for awhile might be healthier for you.