How to Get Rid of Unexpected Guests

There's something particularly maddening about having your quiet Sunday afternoon ruined by unexpected guests dropping by. Technically, the fact that they're unexpected means they're not guests at all but rather intruders whom you happen to know. There are a couple of tricks you can use to get rid of these pests.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. Turn out the lights. If you see them coming in time, you can turn unexpected guests around by turning out the lights. Of course, you can't let them see you running from room to room or peeking out through the blinds. Generally, keeping your porch light out when you're not open to visitors is a signal most people should respect.
2. Let the bell ring. There's no law that says you have to answer a ringing phone or a doorbell. As long as it's not obvious that you are home or have heard the bell, you can just ignore it. Most people will only try twice and then leave. If they confront you the next day, you can simply say you must have been in the shower because you never heard the bell.
3. Stand in the doorway. If you're compelled to answer the door when unexpected guests come calling, don't let them in. Stand in the doorway and converse with them while they stand on the stoop. After a couple minutes, they'll get the idea that they're not welcome at the moment. Body language speaks loudly in these cases.
4. Fake sleep. OK, so you answered the door and then somehow they got inside the house, but you're not going to entertain these unexpected guests. Lay right back down on the couch and resume watching your movie. Let them try to initiate conversation, then slowly close your eyes. When they realize you're taking a nap, those unexpected guests should leave.

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