How to Meet a Boyfriend's Children
With blended families becoming more the norm than the exception, it's more important than ever to know when the right time is to meet the children. Children of divorced parents have already suffered significant loss, so keeping their emotional needs ahead of your own will go a long way in establishing a positive relationship.
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Instructions
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Consider the ages of your boyfriend's children. Younger children love easier and more quickly than older children, so this is definitely a factor.
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Think about where your relationship is going. If it is in the beginning stages, you should not meet your boyfriend's children until you are sure the relationship is going to be permanent.
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Talk to your boyfriend about his children and where they are in their emotional process about the divorce.
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Discuss your relationship with people who know his children. Get advice from grandparents and other family members you have met.
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Be honest with the kids at your first meeting. Don't use words like "friend" as kids will pick up on the fact that you are trying to hide something. Children are extremely perceptive and will know that an important first meeting of someone new has got to be more than just a friend.
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Don't give gifts. You can't buy a child's love and you shouldn't try. Instead find out about things the kids like or are interested in ahead of time so you'll have something to talk about and share.
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Pay attention to children's signals of when they have had enough. Don't try too much too fast, and by all means, don't plan to stay the night.
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Tips & Warnings
Be careful not to expect too much the first time you meet your boyfriend's children. Remember that to them you are an outsider. They may even see you as someone who is trying to take their mother's place, or they may associate you with their parent's break-up even though you didn't have anything to do with it. This is normal behavior that you will have to work through if you are serious about becoming a permanent part of their family.
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Comments
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ruthl777
Aug 17, 2010
I have been seeing my boyfriend for nearly 9 months now and we have meet each others children, which has gone well so far and he spend time at my house and with me and the boys but has never stayed over when the boys are home. The thing is we are thinking of going away with the kids and my problem is how to explain to my two teenage sons that I will be sharing a room with my boyfriend...I think my 14 year old suspects we are having sex but does not like to think about it, this will confirm that to him and it could cause a big problem.
