How to Get Laid

Unless you're schooled in the fine art of macking, scoring with the women can be tricky business. But don't give up just yet. There are mllions of hot mammas ready and willing for a close encounter. Read on and learn how to bust your move with the ladies.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Take a risk for once in your life. Get off your lazy boy and go to a place where the hoochies flow like honey. (That means a dance club or bar for you novices out there.) Just remember this tidbit from Rumdogs, "If the honeys are fine, get off that behind."
2. Think quantity not quality. Get yourself to a smokin' party and randomly ask the girls, "How about a bone dance?" This method is not for the faint hearted, however your chances of getting laid increase with each kick to the groin.
3. Dress the part. The perfect threads will turn on the ladies faster than Nick Lachey in a speedo. Start off with a nice pink silk shirt, keep it going with some tight leopard print pants and finish it off with some platform shoes and a fedora.
4. Know how to talk to women. Start each conversation with this Tupac quote, "Hate to sound sleazy but tease me, I don't want it if it's that easy." Such a line is sure to make even the coolest ice princess melt with desire.
5. Become the submissive freak that you are. Women love a guy they can boss around, so become the sniveling little muffin they desire. Just be sure to leave your French maid outfit at home.
6. Talk with an accent. Pretend you're Ricardo Montalban (that's Mr. Roarke to you) and invite all the ladies to dance in your fantasy island.