How to Get Along With Adult Siblings

For some people, getting along with their siblings seems impossible. With a canyon between you filled with wrongs perpetrated on each other through the years, it feels like you'll never find common ground. Old childhood wounds, genetics, parental attentions and life changes can all alter the relationship between siblings. But, there is hope.

Instructions

1. Stop making the tally marks. That is, stop comparing their possessions, their successes and failures with your own. Instead, learn to celebrate their joys and support them through the heartaches.

2. Choose not to compete. You don't need to constantly prove your value as an adult. Just let it go and relax. Nobody needs the stress of constant competition.

3. Get over being angry and realize that you aren't feeling anger, you're feeling hurt. Communicate with your sibling how their actions are hurting you without yelling or getting upset. Stay calm and clear in your communication.

4. Build up your own self-confidence. This will help with ending your desire to compete with your siblings and will also improve as you end comparisons. Know that you can handle whatever kind of reaction or response your sibling has to your open communication.

5. Share your needs with your siblings. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. You can't create the relationship you want if you don't communicate what you want in the first place. Know that you'll be okay if they don't reciprocate your interest. At least you'll know you put forward the effort to make things right. You've given your siblings the option when they're ready.