Difficulty: Moderately Challenging
Step1
Book a red-eye flight. With Air Marshals aboard and Indecent Exposure laws on the books, darkness is definitely the preferred medium for membership.
Step2
Find a friend. No matter how much fun you're able to have alone, it just doesn't count toward membership. Bring a willing sexual partner who is 21 or older on the flight. Unless, of course, you prefer the challenge of finding a new friend aboard who has similar goals. In that case, good luck!
Step3
Wait until the Captain levels off and announces the plane's altitude. To become a Mile High Club member, you must succeed in your goal after the plane has reached--surprisingly enough--one mile above the earth. (That's 5,280 feet to us mere mortals.)
Step4
Sit next to your partner and get cozy. Share a blanket in case one of you gets a bit frisky. Wait until the passengers begin dozing and the least amount of overhead lights are on before proceeding further. (Note: In-flight movies are also great sources of passenger distraction.)
Step5
Decide where you'll meet your goal. If the flight has few passengers, and none immediately across the aisle, you might consider staying in your current location. However, be certain you'll both fit in the allotted space. (You don't want to get stuck between seatbacks and have to call a flight attendant for help.) If your seat simply won't do, you and your partner must discretely meet in the only other passenger accessible area…the bathroom. (Fair warning: You'll have to stand in an area not much larger than your seat assignment.)
Step6
Get into the most accessible position, and quietly do the deed. Discretion is imperative. Remember, you can get arrested for drawing attention to yourselves, so this is not the time to howl like a baboon.
Step7
Complete your Mile High Club membership, and casually tuck all of your pieces and parts back in. Congratulate yourselves on a fun job well done--and don't forget to wipe that silly grin off your face.
Comments
Crispo1974 said
on 5/12/2008 Of course there is an alternative. You could hire your own private plane, complete with matress, pillows, cushions and champagne http://www.milehighflights.co.uk Perfect for those who want to avoid the potential arrest and embarrasment
Thumper1943 said
on 2/17/2008 I became a member of the mile high club three times. All three times I was on my way to Las Vegas. Twice, the lady I was with aroused me in my seat, and the couple acroos the plane saw us, and started to do the same thing. The ironic part of The Flight is that we Joined with eachothers partner, in the bathroom. I thought I would never land. The other time we just asked for a blanket. I think the flight attendant liked to watch, as I covered us, and let her have it like she loved it. From behind. The Flight attendant stayed the whole time, and then we didn't see her for the rest of the flight. I think its like taking a bite out of forbidden fruit that makes it so good.