How to Model Trustworthiness to a Child

Children are always listening and watching. Children learn far more from our behavior than we realize, so to teach integrity to the next generation, we must model trustworthiness and honesty to our children. Easier said than done, the concept requires commitment to becoming not just better aunts, uncles and parents, but better people inside and out.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Make your word mean something. Don't give it unless you intend to keep it. To a young child, an adult is an all-knowing source worthy of complete trust. Do what you say you will—always. If the situation is out of your hands, take the time to explain why you're unable to fulfill the obligation that you made. Children can comprehend mistakes, provided they're explained. Be trustworthy at all times. Once that childlike trust is broken, you will never get it back in such a pure form.

2. Speak the truth. Children are young, not stupid. If you claim your 12-year-old is 11 at the ticket counter, you lose far more than a couple of dollars off the price of admission. A lie of convenience plants a small seed of complicity. In time it will grow into something very difficult to get rid of. You are a mentor to your child; every minute of every day. Only teach lessons worth learning.

3. Be present. Be available for your child mentally and physically. As a parent, it is your responsibility to meet your child's needs. Be there when your child gets off the bus, or if that's not possible, be on the other end of a ringing phone when your child walks in the door. Stop what you're doing and really listen if your child wants to talk. Stay connected to your child, don't allow yourself to wander around on autopilot. Your child needs to learn that you're trustworthy as a parent. Remember, someday your child will teach the same lessons to your grandchildren.

4. Show your child that trustworthiness involves life outside your home. Explain what you do at work, and why it's important that you arrive on time and get your work done each day. Arrive promptly when taking your child to appointments. Make a point of explaining that other people's time is valuable and that you don't want to waste it.

5. Make a family tagline. To inspire your child to be trustworthy, create a family credo and repeat it often. For example, "The Wrights always do what's right," or "Thompsons are always truthful," or "You can always count on the Greene Team." A family tagline inspires pride in children and stays with them even when you're not looking.