How to Work with a Hostile Boss

Bullying bosses can be bad news. Putting in 40 hours a week and working your way up the food chain is stressful enough. Adding a bad boss and a hostile work environment to the mix can put you over the edge. Here are some suggestions for viable solutions when Mr. Bossman or Ms. Bosswoman rears his or her ugly head.

Instructions

1. Keep your emotions in check. Working in a hostile environment pushes you to the limit, but it's important not to let your boss or coworkers see that limit. Take your tears outside to dry and lock yourself in your car before you let loose and scream. A boss may not know how to react to visible emotion and as a result, he may become threatened and act out.

2. Create a plan of personal action. Before you approach your boss, settle up with yourself. Figure out a way that you can personally deal with the environment. This might mean making sure you leave the office for your entire lunch break or stepping outside at least twice a day. It might mean creating a personal defense mechanism, such as picking up the phone or heading to the bathroom when your boss is on a rampage.

3. Make a plan of public action. Schedule a one-on-one meeting with your boss. No one, especially power-tripping bosses, likes to be surprised. Give your boss some clue about the details of the meeting when you make arrangements. You might say, "I'd just like a few minutes of your time this afternoon to talk about some things that have concerned me." Or, "If you are available tomorrow, could we sit down and talk about a couple of concerns I have about the office?" In both of these sentences, you are giving your boss fair warning without going into detail about what you want to discuss.

4. Let your grievances be known in a diplomatic yet clearly stated way. If you do sit down with your boss, chances are he or she will be taken off guard. Some bosses don't recognize their own hostile ways, so confronting them is a serious wake-up call. This is the better type of boss to confront because there is a good chance he will try (at least for awhile) to better the situation. A knowingly hostile boss will be harder to break. Either way, state your problems by giving real examples and using "I" statements. For example, "I feel devalued when I ask you how to improve on my projects and you blatantly ignore my requests." Don't be patronizing or angry--a cool head and even tone will serve you best.

5. Ignore your boss, but not to his face. When all else fails and you can't or won't leave your job, the best course of action is to pretend your boss is merely a pesky mosquito buzzing at your ear. Just swat him away. In other words, survive in a hostile work environment by never allowing your boss (or anyone else) to affect your mood, life, work and career path. This is a very difficult thing to do, but it can be achieved. Keep your focus on the quality of your work and stay positive. Show your boss that his or her rampages and bullying moods don't affect you. Not only will your work improve and your mood lift, but chances are, your boss will see how useless his hostile mood is toward you and give up.

Tips & Warnings

• In some instances, a work environment can be made better simply by walking away. If a boss is creating an uncomfortable or inappropriate environment and you are present, demonstrate your distaste by walking away. This is a safe action that also gives subtle hints to your boss about his or her behavior.

• Hostile bosses have a hard time with change. Even after a true attempt to better the environment, you may find that everything goes back to "normal" after a few days or weeks. If this is the case, seriously consider removing yourself from the workplace and pursuing another job.