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How to Know if Someone is a Lesbian

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By eHow Contributing Writer
(12 Ratings)

Frequently family and friends have questions about the sexual orientation of loved ones. Finding out who is a lesbian can be quite tricky. There are a few things to look for, and while you may recognize someone you know in the following steps, do not simply surmise that they are gay. Tomboys can be straight or gay, and a flannel shirt may be loved by any sexual orientation.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging
Instructions
  1. Step 1

    Look for a rainbow symbol. The use of the rainbow for car plates, jewelery and even home decorating has traditionally been part of the gay community. A rainbow symbol, though, may also indicate that she supports gay rights.

  2. Step 2

    See if she is wearing a pink triangle upside down. During the second world war, Nazi's labeled prisoners with various colors, depending on the crime. Gay men were made to wear an inverted triangle that was pink. "Antisocial" women, lesbians, prostitutes, and similar women wore inverted black triangles. Today the common practice is usually the pink inverted triangle indicating homosexuality of either sex.

  3. Step 3

    Look at her hairstyle. Mullet haircuts and hair clipped or shaved close to the head, have been traditional stereotypes for the butch lesbian. This doesn't mean that everyone with the hairstyle is gay, nor does it mean that all lesbians have that type of hairstyle. Female mulletheads wear the look as a symbol.

  4. Step 4

    Look for a labrys symbol. The labrys was used by ancient weapon used by female amazons. The term became synonymous with various types of "warring women." Later it became a symbol for both feminists and lesbians.

  5. Step 5

    Realize that lesbians don't necessarily look masculine. Some lesbians, just like some straight women, make a feminine statement with their clothing and may be on top of the latest trends for women.

  6. Step 6

    Watch to see if she leaves for a major city the last weekend in June. That is the weekend set aside for the Gay Pride Parade. This is celebrated every year in larger cities and is seen as the beginning of the gay liberation movement.

  7. Step 7

    Ask her about her orientation. Let her know that you noticed gay pride symbols and were curious.

Tips & Warnings
  • The freedom flag, the term for the rainbow flag became popular in 1978 to represent the diversity in sexual orientation. The flag started with eight colors, but pink and turquoise were taken off to make it more feasible to produce. It has six colored stripes. The first is red, then orange, yellow, green, blue, and violet.
  • Many of the styles that lesbians first made popular as unconventional took on a life of their own and became conventional.

Comments  

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lisa502 said

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on 9/18/2009 i would like some help to see if my friend is a lesbian, she is very into a famous person(man)but she just became friends with this girl and theyre very touchy and hold hands and sit on each other they also fight like theyre in a relationship.its very disturbing and weird,and i think they kissed wat do i do i've been friends with her for more than 10 years shes my best friend.
PLEASE HELP!

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on 6/30/2009 I arrived at this site by Googling inverted black triangles. Tell you why I did. I met a girl for lunch and she had small inverted black triangles directly under the center of her eyes. Appeared as though they were drawn on the skin with eyebrow pencil or something similar. Now this girl is married with a small child and really don't think she's a lesbian. What am I missing here? Thanks in Advance for any responses. Frank

inna91 said

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on 5/13/2009 Lesbians come in all shapes, sizes, and appearences; just like straight women. Only some gay people wear rainbow stuff, and many straight people do too. So, that is not a good thing to go by. It's almost impossible to tell who is gay and who is not. Some of the most feminine looking women are actually gay, and some of the most masculine looking women are actually straight.

playhrs710 said

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on 12/14/2008 I also have a similar problem to people on this. The thing is I am now just sorta coming out as a bi...But not to everyone...I have this major crush on a women, who is older than I am, I am 18 and she happens to be 32 years...but i dont care about age...but there's one major problem...I am still in highschool and she's actually one of my physical education teachers...and the thing is I have asked one of my very close friends to watch her when i go by her or something like that to she is she glances at me...and most of the time she does sorta of like she stays in the same spot but moves her eyes to where I am. This women is also my coach for a certain sport...n sometimes I think I get these looks from her but I can never tell, and am very not sure if she's giving me the look. For instance I was stretching on the grass one day, and she walking by and she turns her head and looks down a

angelic said

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on 11/12/2008 UMM I'm attracted to a girl or i guess so. We work together what makes things even more difficult. I can't stop thinking of her and at work can't even face her. I always steal glances at her when she not looking at me and even saw her gazing at me several time or all the time but whenever i'm not looking. This really drives me crazy. I don't understand her or her feelings for me. she avoids sitting close to me and we very ii at ease while talking to each other on the rare occasion we do. I crazy of her and can't even sleep just keep thinking of her. It's a very difficult situation to pretend to be indifferent or normal with someone you crazy of like hell. I no longer where i stand in life. Any help will do

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