How to Use Love and Logic Discipline
Discipline is one of the toughest parts of being a parent. Finding a balance between being too strict and being too lenient can seem next to impossible when your toddler is having an especially obnoxious tantrum in the middle of the supermarket. Fortunately, thousands of parents have nothing but accolades for the "Love and Logic" technique founded by Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline, M.D.
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Instructions
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Learn about the Love and Logic philosophy. The focus is on giving kids choices, empathizing with them rather than yelling or using sarcasm, and consistently using consequences that can be enforced.
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Keep your child's emotions and perspective in mind--even when she's misbehaving. This might be hard to do, because misbehavior can quickly escalate into a parent vs. child scenario. But as difficult as it might be, empathize with her frustration: "You're mad because you wanted to jump ahead in line."
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Offer your child age-appropriate choices. For a preschooler having a fit because he wants ice cream, offer him a choice between two acceptable goodies. The toddler having a tantrum in the store has a choice of behaving and getting a small privilege like a sticker or leaving the store empty-handed.
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Let your child endure the consequences of bad choices. If your fifth grader flunked his math test because he didn't study, kindly and without sarcasm empathize with his bad grade, saying "it's too bad you didn't study." Then explain the consequence. This is a better approach than getting on his case the week before to study--instead, a few failures will teach him to study on his own.
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Discipline by using consequences that can be enforced. Instead of nagging your teenage daughter to clean her room, tell her you won't be able to drive her to her friend's house until her room is cleaned. Keep your demeanor calm and kind and let the consequences do the work.
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Comments
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dream4today
Sep 03, 2010
There is a new book just out that I received as a gift recently called Raising Children for Success. I thought it would be one of those feel good books that talked only about loving your children through whatever, but his is much more. It gives you practical tips on what to actually do when you have to discipline.
