How to Resolve Disputes With Neighbors

With Mr. Rogers no longer on TV, it's sometimes hard for us to remember kind feelings toward our neighbors. Disputes can arise over the most minor issues, and when it comes to personal property, people tend to get overheated. Make it a great day in the neighborhood by following this guide to conflict resolution.

Instructions

1. Introduce yourself. Most conflicts between neighbors begin because one or both households never took the time to introduce themselves when moving in. Even if you moved in years ago, it's never too late to meet your neighbors. A friendly exchange can go a long way to preventing future disputes.

2. Listen to what your neighbor has to say. Even if you are eager to explain your side of the story, your neighbor will only feel resentment if you don't demonstrate that you are genuinely listening. Give him plenty of time to talk, and your conflict will be resolved more quickly.

3. Take an appropriate level of responsibility. Accountability is crucial to resolving neighbor disputes. If you are solely responsible for a problem, you are solely responsible for fixing it. If several neighbors are responsible, discuss equal division of labor and continue the conversation until everyone is clear on expectations and happy with the resolution.

4. Compromise. With more and more houses being built in close proximity to one another, the word "compromise" is becoming more significant in neighborhood vocabulary. Don't be so stubborn about a dispute that you can't see the advantage in finding the middle ground. Remember--a compromise means you walk away with at least half of what you were fighting for.

5. Break down the problem, not the neighbor. Many arguments get so heated that people forget about the initial dispute and begin attacking the person. If you go at the problem with the same stubborn relentlessness that you're using to perpetuate conflict with your neighbor, you'll have your issue resolved in no time.

Tips & Warnings

• Small gestures prevent neighborhood disputes. If you are spending a Saturday mowing your lawn and your neighbor is out of town, head on over and mow his lawn, too. This may feel like a time-consuming task, but the reward will likely be less time spent fighting over petty issues in the future.

• Sometimes disputes can be solved by simply asking nicely. Don't be too afraid or too proud to ask a neighbor for something.

• A violent, hostile neighbor is rare, but if you feel that a nearby resident is posing a serious threat to you and your family, increase your security and notify the police to be on standby.