How to Make War

Adopt a position. Draw a line in the sand. Covet thy neighbor's goods. Claim a moral mandate. Draw others to your cause. Create an issue that is larger than the needs of everyday life. Give others a reason to believe that supersedes their need to merely survive. Follow the long tradition of leaders throughout history. Make a war to accomplish your goals and change the world. Read on to learn more.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Give people something to identify with like a team, a religion, a political group, a nation or a cause. Develop an exclusive "us verses them" mentality. Point out the moral inferiority of those who do not subscribe to your position. Build paranoia and anger among your followers. Document any incursion on your land, in your group or challenges to your belief system. Share these incursions with your followers. State that there is an undeclared war against those who do not believe as you do.
2. Arm yourself with rhetoric. Begin to lobby politicians and community leaders. Support candidates who support your cause. Raise vast amounts of money and begin to influence national and international leaders. Solicit business leaders to join your group. Use corporate money to supplement your influencing efforts.
3. Elect officials who are sympathetic to your cause and who are in a position to help you make war. Build unrest and turmoil within groups that do not follow your cause. Use the media to illustrate to as many people as possible the problems your opponents cause. If necessary, buy media exposure to get your message out.
4. Make your cause a national issue. Convince others that national interests are at risk. Portray your opponent as evil, larger than life and a menace to the world. Mention the remote possibility of war.
5. Attempt to negotiate. Try to use diplomacy to resolve conflicts. Fail at both of these peaceful methods of dispute resolution. Restate your position and do not find a middle ground. Mention again the possibility of war and begin to prepare the populace for it.
6. Attack your enemy in the name of justice, peace, morality or God. Defend your action as a "Just Cause," "Jihad," "Crusade" or as a retaliatory or pre-emptive strike. Gather others who also enjoy making war. Plot, plan and utilize your secret war toys.
7. Use the war as a method to build national pride. Advance your cause. Take your neighbor's goods. Defend your line in the sand. Distract others from domestic issues. Improve sectors of the economy by manufacturing war-related weapons and necessities. Employ large groups of youth as soldiers. Follow the example of leaders throughout the history of man and war to change your world.

Tips & Warnings

• Practice these techniques by starting wars with your neighbors and family members. Arm yourself with gossip, innuendo, social ostracism and silence. Enjoy wrecking havoc on a small scale before attempting to war on a global scale.
• Create corporate wars to practice on a larger scale. Utilize the "team" mentality to create a sense of purpose and inclusion. Consider building a "team" mentality among the end users of your product to watch what people do for a cause or a sense of inclusion.
• War causes death, destruction and sorrow.