How to Deal with a Temperamental Child

Heading down the cereal aisle, your toddler spots a giant box with bright cartoon characters, sparkles, and a sugary prize in every box. When her pleas go ignored, she launches into the loudest shriek humanly possible. To top it all off, this is the second time it's happened during today. Temper tantrums are frustrating for everyone involved (including innocent by-standers). Follow these steps to better understand and work through your child's next fit.

Instructions

1. Acknowledge the child's frustrations. Say something like "I understand you are frustrated. When you calm down enough to listen, I can help you with what you need." Toddlers often become beside themselves when they can't communicate their needs or wants, which leaves them feeling helpless and misunderstood. Verbalizing your understanding and willingness to listen can calm them down because they feel you are being fair and value their words.

2. Ask questions to encourage the child to communicate using words. Tantrums are common during among 2-year olds because they have acquired some language skills, but not quite enough to say what they are thinking 100% of the time. Asking them yes or no questions helps them focus on communicating without further frustrating them by feeling overwhelmed and helpless.

3. Give the child regular attention that they can count on. Mommy-and-Me, story time, and naptime rituals are a good start. Providing your child with such a daily routine can help avoid tantrums altogether

4. Allow the child to have self-control over small things, such as what type of juice they would like with their lunch, which bedtime story they would like to read or whether they would like to get dressed before or after breakfast. This gives them a sense of independence that children often don't feel during a temper tantrum.

5. Distract the child with an alternative option. Toddlers have short attention spans, so try suggesting something else that is appropriate or remind them of their reward systems (e.g. stars, stickers, special activity, etc.). Stay away from bribery though- telling the child "If you stop, you can pick out a piece of candy at the checkout aisle" only encourages future tantrums.

6. Reward good behavior. It can't be said enough. Praise, praise and praise when the child is behaving favorably, especially in situations when she typically does not.