How to Influence Children

Children learn what they live, and the surest way to influence a child's behavior is to model the behavior you want to encourage in your child. You are your child's first and best teacher. Very little escapes children's notice, and every moment can be a teachable moment if you realize you have a captive audience that adores you and wants to be "just like you."

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Be honest. Whether you are declining an invitation or trying to get out of a speeding ticket, remember that you are modeling behavior that will influence your child. If your child learns that it is OK to fib or stretch the truth to get out of awkward or troublesome situations, you can bet your life your child will do the same thing when she is a teen.
2. Clean up your messes and your mouth. Again, you are modeling behavior that will influence your developing child's behavior. If you don't want your child to swear, you need to stop swearing. And you can't exactly expect your child to keep a spic-and-span bedroom if yours is littered with clothes, magazines and snack dishes.
3. Keep your promises. Your child will value the fact that you can be counted on to keep your word. This will influence him to, in turn, keep his promises and become a trustworthy adult.
4. Encourage curiosity. If your child asks you a question you don't know the answer to, look it up together. You'll influence your child to be a lifelong learner, and you'll teach her how to use her resources. In the information age we live in, this is an invaluable skill.
5. Foster personal responsibility. When you make a mistake, take responsibility and apologize to the person you let down or offended. And this doesn't just apply to other adults. It applies to kids too. If you hurt your child's feelings by flying off the handle over something stupid, talk to your child about it and apologize.
6. Practice tolerance of each other, of others, of different points of view and of different cultures. By modeling tolerance you will influence your child to become an open-minded, patient adult.
7. Give and take. In other words, be flexible. As important as keeping your promises is modeling adaptability for your child. If circumstances change and it requires you to alter your plans, discuss it with your child so that he understands what is going on and why. If you are flexible, your child will learn to be flexible.