How to Write a Jewish Marriage Contract

When a Jewish couple marries, the husband gives the wife what is called the Ketubah, or marriage contract. It is a tradition that goes back thousands of years, and the document is often turned into a beautiful piece of artwork that is proudly displayed in their home. There are different options for the language of the Ketubah, so it is important to write a Jewish marriage contract before the ceremony.

Difficulty:

Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Understand the tradition. The Ketubah (from the Hebrew "to write" or "written") was originally designed to protect the rights of women in marriage when first introduced more than 2,000 years ago. Since most families stayed together even after divorce or the death of the husband, leaders believed it was important to take the woman's financial future into consideration. While some today believe the language of many Ketubot are dated and even sexist, it's important to know the roots of the tradition.

2. Fill in the blanks. The Ketubah is a personalized document, with places to insert your names, the date and place of the wedding in both English and Hebrew. You'll want to provide this information to the person or company who will actually write the calligraphy for your Jewish marriage contract, so be sure the spelling and Hebrew characters are correct. To get the date right, be sure to note whether the ceremony is before or after sunset.

3. Talk to your rabbi. Your choices for what to write into your Jewish marriage contract will depend on whether you are having an Orthodox, Reform or Conservative wedding. The traditional Aramaic version used by Orthodox or Conservative congregations stands up in civil courts as a legal contract.

4. Decide on whether to add the Lieberman clause as you write your Jewish marriage contract. Many Conservative rabbis see it as a way to keep couples from using divorce as a bargaining chip in the marriage or to try and keep the woman from remarrying. This part of the Ketubah says that if there is a divorce, the couple agrees to binding arbitration with the Rabbinical Assembly. It is frequently added to the traditional Aramaic version.

5. Write your own Ketubah. Historians agree there is no one "correct version" of the Jewish marriage contract, and many Reform congregations permit couples to devise their own. Many are beautifully written professions of love and commitment. You can do the writing yourself or study versions written by others for words that speak to you. Just be sure to have your rabbi and cantor approve it.

6. Settle on a role for your Ketubah. The Jewish marriage contract is similar to the secular prenuptial agreement, but if you use a nontraditional text it won't carry much weight in Jewish law. Ketubot originated as financial protection for women in marriage, but some Reform couples have eliminated all mentions of money in the document.