How to Use Emotional Intelligence to Solve Conflict

Conflicts arise on a daily basis at home, work or even during fun events. Using Emotional Intelligence (EI) in solving conflicts benefits everyone involved. These techniques will take some practice to master, but you will find that you will have fewer upsetting conflicts and your relationships with the people around you will be better using these strategies.

Instructions

1. Listen to the other person. The first step is to actually listen to what he is really saying, not only the bits and pieces you want to hear.

2. Save the judgments for later. While you are actively listening to her, do not judge her opinion. Make sure that you are objectively gathering the information she is presenting to you.

3. Restate his side of the conflict. Make sure you really understand what he is saying and that you have not changed his statement with any personal biases or opinions you may have.

4. Identify with her feelings. Try to understand how she feels and why she would feel that way. Put yourself in her shoes and see if the situation appears different to you than it did before.

5. Respond only after he has had his say. Letting him finish his thought is important because it shows that you value what the other person is saying, even if you do not agree with it.

6. Use "I" statements, not "You" remarks. Speak only for yourself, being careful not to insinuate that you know how the she feels about a situation. For example, "You are being ridiculous" will make her feel defensive and shows a lack of empathy or understanding on your part. "I feel that there are a number of things I disagree with in that last statement" is a good alternative. The emphasis is on your different idea, not attacking her thoughts.

7. Understand that you may have to agree to disagree. Everyone does not have to be on the same page after a discussion. Regardless of the outcome, it is important to end the conversation with affection, a hand shake, hug, or smile are examples of this.