How to Write a Family Memoir

Researching and writing a memoir about your family and its history can be very rewarding. Family members and ancestors are at the center of a family memoir and you are part of the narrative. Family memoirs can focus on one generation or several generations, can be personally cathartic to write and can be a meaningful gift for generations to come.

Difficulty:

Challenging

Instructions

1. Expect this project to take you months, even years, to accomplish. Writing a memoir cannot be done in a few sittings. Don't pressure yourself into writing a certain amount each day, but set a goal to write something such as an anecdote, a short memory or a full chapter as often as the mood strikes you.

2. Realize that a memoir begins as a collection of small events. Writing about each of these small events, and including as much detail as you can, is an important first step. You should assemble a collection of these small moments before beginning to weave them together as a complete memoir.

3. Jog your memories by writing down a few quick phrases that come to mind. Keep your thoughts loose. If you write something like "Fishing with Dad" or "Paris Trip," these small phrases are likely to launch some memories for you. Think hard about details; what you were wearing, the sounds you heard, the smells in the air. Make a note about the emotions that are tied up with each memory-happiness, sadness, grief, lovesickness, giddiness and so on.

4. Interview family members who might be able to provide you with more details about the past. Perhaps your memory of an event is less clear than your sister's. A conversation with her might help you to set your facts straight. Great family members for mining the past include grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles, cousins and siblings.

5. Look for a theme in your family memoir, and keep that theme alive as the thread that holds your story together. Ask yourself what did generations of your family have in common; what traditions were passed down; did religion or ethnic origin, define you and your family members; did a tragedy define your family or did money, or lack of it, define your family. Keep your writer's senses open for a theme to help describe your family and mold your memoir.

6. Set your memoir against the backdrop of history. Many families have been impacted by wars, unrest, poverty, sudden changes in personal fortune and politics. Think back on how your family was buffeted by the winds of change and then do some research on the time period. Use your research to provide the "back story" to your memoir.

7. Avoid writing your memoir in chronological order. Try instead to write each separate memory in terms of rising action (a beginning, a middle with rising action and a climax/ending). This writing strategy, which you see in novels, non-fiction and film, holds the reader's attention.

8. Resolve to be fearless in discarding those anecdotes that just don't work. View your memoir as an outsider and be a tough self-editor. Sometimes an anecdote is missing vital facts and details and can't be saved. If it doesn't work with your theme, it belongs in your files and not in your memoir. An anecdote you discard now might be useful later.

9. Treat your memoir like a series of small ideas and memories before thinking about writing an entire book. As details and emotions emerge, you will be able to "flesh out" your memories and treat each one as a chapter in your larger story.

Tips & Warnings

• Take a break whenever you have a case of writer's block, or certainly if you begin to feel like this project is a chore, rather than an enjoyable activity.

• Take a class in memoir writing. Many colleges offer workshops and many online writing classes are also available to would-be writers.

Resources

• Stores your information, provides tips on writing your memoir and doing research
• Tips on writing memoirs and an online workshop in writing family memoirs