How to Have Sex in the Office Elevator

By eHow Health Editor

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Office affairs can be tantalizing. Part of their appeal is often the fact that they are forbidden. After all, most companies frown on such liaisons, even if there aren't any rules outright forbidding them. The scandalous thoughts of an office romance can keep you and your lover awake at night thinking about creative ways in which to satisfy your mutual longings while on the job. Having sex in the office elevator is one way you can give in to your urges in about the amount of time it takes you to finish your coffee break.

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Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

Empty office elevator
Tissues or moist wipes

Step1

Wipe down the walls, handrails and floor of the elevator, if possible. Of course, sex in office elevators often happens on the spur of the moment, meaning you might not always have a stash of moist wipes or tissues with you. However, if you do, giving a quick once-over to any surfaces you may be touching will go a long way toward making your romp a more sanitary experience.

Step2

Hit the "stop" button. Unless you're planning to be extraordinarily quick--and confident you can actually pull it off--you don't want to risk the doors opening on the seventh floor to find your boss waiting there.

Step3

Remain partially clothed. There's no reason to get completely naked in an office elevator. This is a speedy endeavor and you don't want to draw it out by having to put all your clothes back on afterward. In addition, your business suit may get wrinkled lying there on the elevator floor.

Step4

Work with the handrail, not against it. Sure, it's uncomfortable to be pushed up against the elevator wall, only to find a cold metal rail pressing on your spine. Instead, use the handrail as a perch to sit on or as a way to get your leg raised to a strategic level.

Step5

Leave no trace of your activities upon leaving the elevator. This means picking up everything that may have made its way onto the floor, such as underwear, jewelry and used contraceptives. If the elevator has mirrored walls, rub off any markings you might have left (use your clothes, if need be).

Tips & Warnings

If you're planning to have sex in the office elevator, be sure you're physically able to do so. There isn't much room to lie down in an elevator, and you probably wouldn't want to do that anyway. That means sex is going to happen standing up and that normally requires a moderate degree of physical agility.