How to Avoid Getting Caught Having Sex in the Office

More and more companies today are coming down on office romances. In fact, it's becoming quite common for companies to include such rules in their employee handbooks. Penalties for intra-office dating can range from a verbal reprimand to actually being fired. Even in companies without such restrictions, gossip can fly whenever co-workers date. This makes office sex a risky proposition. Therefore, if you and your corporate lover want to have sex at the office, it's essential to learn to reduce your risk of getting caught.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Make Office Sex as Clandestine as Possible

1. Choose private locations for having sex. Places that have low pedestrian traffic or are out of the way are best. A remote supply closet, a vacant office or a seldom-used stairwell are all excellent choices.
2. Lock the door wherever you choose to have sex. Co-workers and other employees have a tendency to show up when you least expect them, even in the most remote and unused office locations.
3. Scout the room for security cameras. Many employers put these cameras in every conceivable location in order to minimize theft and unproductive time among employees. Be absolutely certain there is no camera in the room before having sex. If you spot one, either cover up the lens or turn it off.
4. Have sex at the office after hours. You'll drastically reduce your chances of getting caught if you wait until everyone else has gone home before starting to undress each other.
5. Explore alternative locations around the office. For example, you could have sex in the basement, on the roof of the building or in your car in the office parking garage. You won't have to go too far, the location will be private and you'll be able to straighten yourselves up and return to work relatively quickly.

Tips & Warnings

• The best way not to get caught having sex at the office is to not have sex at the office. If you can't wait until after work to get your hands on each other, try to get a hotel room during your lunch break.
• Though you may be tempted to tell your closest work friends all about your clandestine workday "meetings" with your partner, you should not do so. Even the most well meaning friend can inadvertently let confidential information slip. Saying anything to a co-worker about your office sex sessions exposes your career to unnecessary risk.