How to Survive Your First Year of Marriage

After your wedding, you'll have plenty of time to work on your relationship.

Though preparing for a wedding requires a substantial amount of work, the real work comes after you and your significant other are united in marriage. This work, however, can take years to accomplish and isn't always easy. If you've lived with your spouse prior to marriage, the post-wedding adjustment may be easier. But if you're living under the same roof for the first time, the first year of marriage can be a challenge.

Difficulty:

Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Discuss the roles that you and your spouse wish to occupy in the home so there's no confusion that can lead to upset. If one spouse works, the other may be responsible for cleaning and cooking. If both of you work, decide how you'll divide basic household chores. Assuming that the other person is going to do something isn't a recipe for success.

2. Set aside time on a daily basis to talk about your thoughts and feelings. This is a chance for you both to share your emotions and explain what works and what doesn't. It's easy to do something that your partner hates, but if she doesn't tell you, you'll never know it annoys her.

3. Learn how your spouse enjoys receiving love. In his bestselling book "The 5 Love Languages," author Dr. Gary Chapman explains that people desire love in one of five ways: through words, quality time, gifts, physical touch and acts of service. If your partner longs for you to compliment him, and instead you honor him through gifts, he may not feel the love you want to share.

4. Designate time for sex, if finding the time for intimacy is a challenge. When two people get married, it's easy for work and household obligations to fill their schedules. Because intimacy is an important ingredient to many healthy marriages, schedule time to prevent going long periods without physical contact.

5. Ensure each of you has ample "me time" every week, or more often, if necessary. While you may want to spend every waking moment together, too much together time can prevent you from giving to yourself. It's OK to spend time with friends or by yourself; the time apart will help you grow individually and be more excited when you get together again.

Tips & Warnings

• Communication is always key in any relationship. Learn to be a quality listener, be ready to apologize when warranted and be willing to move past an unpleasant situation when you've discussed it.

References

• She Knows; Common Problems in the First Year of Marriage; Jennifer Chowdhury; June 2008
• Slice; First Year of Marriage; Melissa Jenkins-Gray
• Dumb Little Man; 10 Tips to Make Your First Year of Marriage Easier; Paul Michael
• The Plunge Project; 9 Tips for Surviving the First Year of Marriage; June 2011
• Dr. Phil: Marriage Survival Guide for Tough Times
• Simple Marriage: Top Ten Summer Survival Tips For Moms