How to get through a break-up

Relationships may be hard work, but when they end, it can prove to be more challenging. As the Spanish poet Pablo Neruda once said, "Love is so short; forgetting is so long." Here are some steps that may help ease the pain.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Yourself
• Friends
• Lots of ice cream

1. Cut off contact with your ex. You may have intentions of following through with a "let's still be friends" promise, but let's face it - its going to take time to do that. The only way to possibly be friends with your ex in the future is to build your life again for yourself. Then, potentially down the line, you can add your ex back into your life.

2. Get out of the house. You are entitled to one day of laying on the couch, moping around, and mourning the demise of your relationship. But, you can't sit around crying for the rest of your life. Start slow and meet up with a friend for coffee or a night out.

3. Designate a few buddies who will be able to take your phone calls whenever you feel the urge to call your ex. The next time you feel like calling him or her, call your "break-up buddies" instead.

4. Change your ex's name in your phone to "Do Not Answer." Make sure to obey that rule if it ever pops on your screen. If they want to get back together/have a family emergency/really need you/etc, they will leave a voicemail. No excuses. Remember step 1???

5. Get into some sort of routine. Whether its taking a walk every day or going out to dinner with a friend once a week, make sure to set up something you can look forward to every week to get you out of the funk.

6. Remind yourself that you have bigger and better things coming your way. This person was an important part of your life, but you need to move forward and recognize that they just might not be the one for you.

7. Truly believe the last step.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't drink and dial. Have a friend guard your phone if you do go out drinking.
• Don't drink by yourself. You'll only become more sad and depressed.
• Relish in the fact that you are on your own. Independence is a blessing; having your whole life ahead of you and no one to answer to is liberating and shouldn't be looked down upon.
• If you do drink and dial, you may end up at square one.
• Don't jump into another relationship. Rebounds help no one - someone always ends up getting hurt and you never get over your ex completely.
• If you need companionship, get a dog. Cats only lead to more cats which only leads to being the crazy person on your block who's lawn that kids dare each other to trespass upon.

[mimsi]

on 8/16/2009 so having hope in getting back together has to disapear?, how do you do that?

[annetan73]

on 1/2/2008 my ex has decided to take his cheated gf back and dumped me. stay with a cheater, cheats yourself. of course i didnt these to him.

[JRIngrisano]

on 12/1/2007 Excellent article; lots of common sense for both men and women. Good job.

[unbrokenheart]

on 11/30/2007 This is a great article, written with great compassion and wisdom.
Catherine Bonner
unbrokenheart.com