Things You'll Need:
- The ability for the parent to listen too.
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Step 1
Everyone thinks they are great listeners. Nothing can be further from the truth. A game played when I was a young boy illustrates it. It was called 'Telephone'. The first person would whisper a sentence or two in someone's ear and he or she would whisper what was said into another person's ear. After doing that several times, the original sentence was so far removed from what the last person thought was said to him or her. The more people in line for that game, the diverse the sentence will be. What does that have to do with listening to your child?
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Step 2
The game represents what you say to your child. The child hears what he or she thinks you said. The best way to avoid the pitfalls of the game is to paraphrase to your child after you have stated something. In addition, if you have an older child, a better way to see if the both of you are on the same page is to have your child repeat what you had just told him or her. That way there is no mistake in what was being conveyed. If you have a younger child, repetition is the key in making sure that they listen to you.
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Step 3
What about you listening to your child? By being good listeners ourselves, we can better listen to our child's needs. Listening to your child is akin to listening to yourself. The better we understand what is trying to be said to us, the better we can say it to our children.
To have empathy goes a long way in listening to your child. Put yourself in your child's shoes. They are sponges, but sometimes information can be distorted if the child has no reference point. In other words, if you tell your child to stop eating with their hands and use a fork, if they don't know what a fork is, they won't understand, and thus won't listen. Try to put what you want to say on their level. That ensures they will learn to listen better. Being empathic and putting conversation on their terms are sure ways to better listen to their needs. -
Step 4
That being said, sometimes introducing a new word helps them to better listen in the long run. The better a child's vocabulary, the better they can understand words, sentences and ideas.
Another way to listen to your child is to have them talk to you instead of pointing to an object. I told my daughter on numerous occasions to use her words instead of pointing to something she wanted. By listening to what he or she is trying to say, you can better understand and thus listen more. Listening to your child talk can open up venues that were closed before. Trying to decipher what was being said helps both you and your child listen more effectively. The child knows the parent is trying to understand what they are saying, and the parent listens by trying to understand what the child is trying to say. A win win situation. Sometimes frustration does occur, but by being patient and showing that you care what they are saying, it should help alleviate the frustration that sometimes crops up.
