How to take care of yourself while loving someone who is an addict.

Do you think because of the unpredicted emotional experiences, or expectations, to the uninformed of addiction and/or lack of support society and families tend to bring is due to the lack of education or maybe even fear?

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Journal

1. Understanding ... First, one must completely understand the what's, why's and the how's of Addiction. Check out different websites, read self-help and reference books and even talk to others who have experience addiction within their family and friends. This is what I have learned: Addiction is a chronic relapsing brain disease. It has been proven medically that addiction alters the brain in areas such as critical to decision-making, learning and memory, and behavior control, which may help to explain the compulsive and destructive behaviors of addiction. Addiction is a disease that does not discriminate. Addiction does not care about your race, religion, gender, or age. And addiction certainly doesn’t care if you don’t have a dollar in your wallet or if you have the platinum American Express card. The image and perception of addiction has been intellectually and emotionally distorted in the world today, as it is tomorrow and as it was yesterday. Being genetically predisposed doesn’t necessarily mean one will suffer from addiction, although the research also points toward predisposition, the environment at the home, work, school, or peer group, all may have a significant role in contributing to that outcome. Genetic factors, environment, and beliefs together, it is plain to see, may cause a great influence on the actual addiction or addict’ s development.
2. Acceptance ... Second, unfortunately acceptance takes time and one must be willing to let go what you can not fix. Again, talking to someone you can trust and is non-judgmental is another relief; kinda like a sponsor. But for the addict, treatment is the first and recognizable step, but long-term recovery requires a lifetime commitment to healthy decisions and endless actions. The loved ones of addicts may experience questioning their own personal struggles with insecurities, enabling, and codependency and feel trapped. At times one will experience teeter-totter emotions of either abandoning or supporting the addictive personality - this can be somewhat exhausting. Personally, at times, I wish I had the power of a magic wand, to whack an addict on the head and make the disease go away. It is as basic as coming to terms with oneself to heal oneself. In fact, and sadly to say, there are family members out there that would rather just ignore, intentionally or not, the addict and their problems; it is just easier for them. Don't give up and don't stop searching.
3. Forgiveness ...Most importantly and somewhat difficult for some, one must learn to forgive themselves for blaming. We can not fix the addict but we can make our own life more manageable during this recovery process. My belief in life is we learn from other folks lives, we learn from others wisdom, we learn from others experiences and, unknowingly, apply what we have learn and experienced into our own personal life. Every one has some type of an addiction. Once you learned to be honest with yourself, then oneself can live a healthy lifestyle and take responsibility of their decisions, obstacles and choices; failed choices or choices we must continue to face. When experiencing anger or frustration; learned to channel these emotions to a more positive outlook. Focus on how far you have come and hard you are working to make your life better. It is not easy at times. It may take a healthy cry for an hour or so, or even foolishly question God “why me?” When we take a genuine look at the blundering traps in today’s world it is inevitable that addiction is any question on how addicts or even the loved ones experience crisis on a regular basis. It is everywhere.

Tips & Warnings

• It helps for one to pray. Rather you believe in God or any other higher power, you need to Vent to someone. Venting, praying and spreading hope, one day our dreams will validate the thoughts, prejudices, the stereotyping and especially the lack of understanding of addiction, addicts, and all of the people who are affected by it. Statistics prove according to the American Health Association, three out of five people are affected, directly or indirectly by addiction. So you do the math.
• I am not a certified or a licensed counselor, nor do I have a medical degree or PhD in Psychology, but who I am is; a wife, mother, step-mother, daughter, niece, sister, friend and a human being working hard to support and make sure that my family is well taken care of. I have been in the process of writing a book of this genre, the extent of my education or knowledge in this field would be considered the following: my twelve-year marriage to a Substance Abuse Counselor, who is also a recovering drug addict; family and friends who have addiction, all the Al-A teen, Al-Anon and CoDa meetings I have attended, and my personal therapy sessions with counselors or spiritual advisors, as well as the tons, I mean tons of self-help books I have read throughout the years. So with that background, I offer you my life story.