How to Become a Polygamist
For some, having to deal with one nagging wife is enough. But for a select few, the idea of polygamy is an intriguing one. If you want to become a polygamist, there are a few things that you have to be willing to do in order to live the lifestyle. If you play your cards right, you can have a whole gang of nagging women at your disposal.
Other People Are Reading
Instructions
-
-
1
Join a religion or other group that advocates polygamy. At least you'll have other men to commiserate with once you've become a polygamist.
-
2
Live in a Muslim country or be willing to break your local laws. You surely know polygamy is illegal in most places, but that should be nothing compared to the undertaking you're embarking on here.
-
-
3
Have selective hearing. Instead of having one wife complaining about how you leave your socks on the floor, you'll now have several of them getting on your case for all of your faults. In order to handle this sort of attack, you must be able to tune out things that you're unwilling to do anything about. This goes for mowing the lawn, helping with the kids and staying out late at the bar without calling.
-
4
Get a prescription for a sexual enhancement drug. There is no way that the average man can satisfy that many women, so you'll need some medical intervention to be able to fulfill your husbandly duties. If you have five wives and seven days of the week, you can crunch the numbers for yourself.
-
5
Train as a referee. For all practical purposes, you're outnumbered. The women-to-men ratio isn't in your favor, and you'll spend the majority of your waking hours refereeing fights between your wives. So be ready for anything.
-
6
Have an iron stomach. With that many wives, there are bound to be one or two of them that can't cook. You must be willing to eat whatever is placed in front of you, no matter how inedible it is.
-
7
Be rich. Remember, you'll have to feed yourself, your wives and their 25 kids, too.
-
1
Tips & Warnings
Beware: with that many wives, someone will almost always be suffering from PMS.
More Like This
Comments
-
too funny lol.
-
norcaldad
Sep 30, 2010
Sorry typo... Its LEGAL for two women to marry.. Sorry for the bad spelling. -
onionman81
Sep 21, 2009
I don't appreciate the overt misogynisms seething in this message--it's bile-covered and ill-informative. The writer took upon this task as if it were a humorous endeavor, and it's entirely offensive to those who practice polygamy, either through religion or personal choice. So not only is it perpetually bashing the behaviors of women, but also poking fun at a legitimate religious practice. Granted, it could be considered a social commentary, but this is not the place to offer a biased opinion.
