How to get laid tonight

Believe it or not, most people on this planet wonder how to get laid because they do get laid much much less often than they'd like, just because they don't know a few key secrets that I'm about to give you on how to get laid.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• Confidence
• Charisma
• Social Skills
• Experience

1. In order to get laid, you first need to asses how you stack up on the approaching ladder. Take the quiz at the bottom to find out... Then, get mentally prepared by cleansing yourself of any excuses you might have. Typically, these include "only rich guys get laid", "you're either born with it or not" and "you need to look like a fitness model to get laid".
   
   In order to do this, just do a little study. Walk down the street, and notice the couples with the hottest girls, and then look at the kind of guys they are with (not exactly Brad Pitt, right?).
   
   Proceed by looking at the boyfriends of the most attractive female friends and acquaintances that you have. How many of them are average or below average financially? Write it down.
   
   *You do not have any attractive female friends and acquaintances? That's fine. Most normal men don't, but most men who get laid do. You actually need to invest effort into building a huge circle of female friends. Solution: Join all the social clubs and organizations that you can and start getting a cool, social life with plenty of female friends.
2. Now that you are mentally ready to get laid - Go to a social gathering and start "working the room". This simply means talk to and acquainting yourself with everyone there. Be charming, funny and respectful and people will love you! Just keep moving from one group to another.
   
   *Note, in other to be successful at this, you must genuinely forget about trying to get laid. You need to approach women (and everyone really) with the genuine want and only the desire to socialize and get to know people. Ironically enough, wanting and behaving like you want to get laid will repel women off of you, which at the end of the night means - *you don't get laid!"
3. As the night progresses and you have befriended most of the people (and women) in the place... (*without* trying to get laid, but only socializing) some of the women you had talked to to will start becoming more flirtatious and perhaps even "touchy-feely with you". These are the women that are looking to get laid.
4. Of the ones who have displayed this increased interest and signs that they want to get laid - pick the one you like best, and then invent an excuse for the two of you to move to a more intimate space. If this is a party it can be something like "Woah, it's so loud in here, let's continue this conversation over here" [as you take her and lead her by the hand to an empty -get laid- room]
   
   If this is in a club or some other environment, it's usually something like: "let me show you my [whatever you were talking about]", and lead her to your apartment". The rest is automatic. She'll do the rest.

Tips & Warnings

• None of this will work to get you laid unless you have mastered basic approaching and social skills. This means, you are the kind of person who can approach any person, any where and have 90% of them smiling and laughing... which is a skill made up of the skills: approaching, public speaking, humor, working a room, confidence and charisma.
• Each one of these skills is a learn-able skill in much the same way that you can learn how to play the guitar or speak a foreign language. In much the same way there are books, courses, organizations and groups that can teach you each of these separate skills. The get laid skill is simply a larger skill made up of these smaller ones
• Contrary to what charlatans out there might want to sell you... you cannot make a woman want to get laid with you. As a man, you can only identify the women who have gone out with an intent (or at least the willingness) to get laid... and then provide them the opportunity to do so. Any attempt to cajole or make a woman want to have sex with you is considered sexual harassment
• When we say giving her an "excuse" for moving to a more intimate place, we assume a 2-sided excuse. This means that both you and her know that it is only a socially sanctioned excuse for moving to a more private spot so you can get laid. When you say "It's loud here, let's go over here to continue", it must be clear to her that this is only an excuse. If you actually give the woman a false reason to moving somewhere else with an intent to trick her, then that is non-ethical. Be sure to make the difference and get laid ethnically.